"Love" How much do we have for a spouse, a child?

“Love”  How much do we have for a spouse, a child?

So much has been said regarding love from the first glance at your intended mate, throughout the years of trials and struggles, to the nights where just a hand suffices your needs.  We can read about erotic love, or attempt to find an answer to a restless search for the meaning of what becomes one in the vows of marriage.  

Volumes of literature fill the shelves of libraries explaining the feeling of love but, oftentimes the real understanding is not found in the words of another.  It is discovered when my partner is no longer viable and cannot respond to my needs when I am lonely.  Here is where the true essence of love makes its presence known.

Perhaps the sin of selfishness may find its way between the sheets on the bed, or at the breakfast table when time won’t allow for a moment of good morning.  Man was not made to be an island and always having his own way through life.  There is something more than procreation when God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.  I will make a suitable partner for him.”  (Gn 2: 18).

The reality of love is always found in the manner that we are called upon to give more than a hello or something of material value to another.  It can only make its presence known when an incomparable gesture comes forth from our own selfless attitude.  That entity is called super-emptying of all that we have; our very life.

St. Maximilian-Kolbe stepped forward and replaced a fellow prisoner at Auschwitz with his own suffering and impending death.  Jesus, the model of sacrificing his own life for his fellow prisoners, those who were held by sin, and gave himself as a perfect example of what love really means.  

Every moment a person with undeniable strength of love commits their life, or many of the examples of that life, someone they may not even know gains a new hold on life that perhaps they didn’t expect.

Going back to spouses that have an opportunity to express their undivided attention for their lover, who has given of themselves for many years, find their giving of themselves to a death of freedom that no longer exists.  Watch your spouse of many years as he/she sleeps and view the peaceful expression on their face, knowing somehow his/her choice to spend their years together is a sign of real love existing between each other.  This is when you’ll know that the feeling of a hand in the night is the only bodily touch that may be needed.  

Each of us, as the years allow us longevity, will at some point need that small touch of a loving hand, reassuring us our chosen lover is still there.

Jesus dying on the cross as a total gesture of real love only felt the love of his followers the very moment he appeared after his resurrection.  Finally, they believed when they saw the promise of God standing in all his glory.  (Jn 20: 1 - 30).  

A real conclusion to our love for a spouse or even our children is to be there for them in their lowest point of life and pick up their needs in your own heart.     

Ralph B. Hathaway