The Christian Way to Tell People They're Wrong

We’ve all been there. Someone we know has put forward an opinion that makes very little sense, if any, but which has become a hill they are willing to die on. “Coconuts are mammals because they have hair and give milk.” You know the kind. While they may be frustrating to encounter in the moment, they are often entertaining in retrospect.

But sometimes these kinds of debates can be a bit more concerning. The teachings of the Catholic Church require a great deal of wisdom and prudence to understand. This can and does lead to debates- even heated ones- among Catholics about how best to live out Church doctrine.

Sometimes, a brother or sister in Christ will egregiously step out of line. I remember running across a blog post a number of years ago that asserted it was possible to sin involuntarily. This, of course, flagrantly flies in the face of Church teaching, since the Catechism of the Catholic Church states that in any sin, “the will sets itself upon something” (CCC, 1856), and an involuntary action is one done unwillingly. However, this assertion could lead to scruples and other theological dangers for a reader who hadn’t been well-catechized. Such assertions require you to speak out and say “No, that isn’t true.”

But how to do it? Well, there are plenty of wrong ways. Losing your temper or treating the person in question contemptuously are obviously off the table. Of course, simply choosing not to address the issue can be a mistake, though it can often be the easiest approach. Remember, St. Catherine of Siena exhorted the Church to “Proclaim the truth, and do not be silent through fear.” But how do we do this without risking genuine conflict?

To answer that, we need to discuss the idea of polemics.

What do we mean by “polemics”? Firstly, we need to differentiate this concept from apologetics, which aims to defend and explain Church teachings to those not of the Faith. Polemics, in a sense, has the opposite aim- correcting errors from those within the Church. The term comes from a Greek word meaning “warlike”, but regardless, polemical discourse can and should be conducted in the spirit of Christian charity. Many of the early Church Fathers, and especially St. Jerome, were experienced polemicists, and from them we can intuit a number of principles for how to handle doctrinal debates between Catholics.

Firstly, the aim of polemics is to correct an idea- not to attack a person. Ad hominem arguments, which target someone’s personal character or traits rather than refuting a position, are definitely off-limits.

Secondly, be respectful of your opponent. I use the term “opponent” here with some reserve, because I don’t want to give the impression that any polemical discussion will turn into a heated altercation. But that aside, assuming your opponent has no idea what they’re talking about is likely a mistake, unless they are arguing that “Arius was right” or something similarly absurd. Ask them to explain their reasoning, and listen patiently. Then respond courteously once it comes time for you to do so.

Finally, promoting truth is only one of the two goals of polemics. The other is to eventually build rapport with your opponent. As James Strong and John McClintock put it, “If the polemic thus succeeds…the vanquished is turned into a friend and convert and the truth has indeed triumphed, as God would have it.”

Now, I am in no way claiming that practicing Christian polemics well is easy- far from it. This requires extraordinary patience, a healthy level of self-confidence in one’s ability to debate, and, most importantly, a strong formation in Catholic doctrine which will enable you to be informed on important issues. Furthermore, if you aren’t informed, there is no shame in admitting it! Saying “I hadn’t thought of that,” and resolving to further investigate a given issue on your own time is perfectly legitimate.

To conclude, when debates arise over theological issues, whether the claim being made is that drinking coffee is immoral, or something much more problematic, this doesn’t have to result in a fight. Taking a cue from the Church Fathers, we can defend our opinions and beliefs without setting aside Christian charity, and potentially learn a thing or two along the way.

Bibliography

Catechism of the Catholic Church (2nd ed.). (1997). https://www.usccb.org/sites/default/files/flipbooks/catechism/456/
Frediani, M. (2019, April 26). 7 Quotes from St. Catherine of Siena. Ascension Press. https://media.ascensionpress.com/2019/04/26/7-quotes-from-st-catherine-of-siena/
Polemics. McClintock and Strong Biblical Cyclopedia Online. (n.d.). https://www.biblicalcyclopedia.com/P/polemics.html
Polemics. Theopedia.com. (n.d.). https://www.theopedia.com/polemics