In the First Place
Blessed Benedetta Bianchi Porro wrote to her friend in 1960: “At the moment I am going through a period of great aridity. I feel alone, tired, somewhat humiliated, and without much patience. … The worst part is that I am not at peace. Pray for me, pray for me. … Why is this happening to me? Why is God allowing this?”
I recently read of the holy woman, Blessed Bendetta, and it left me wondering exactly how someone could live with such a debilitating disease. She lived it with such joy in the Lord. Benedetta finished high school and to please her father, she studied physics but eventually found her way to medical school. Likely, this was a time when few women were studying medicine. Sadly, she suffered from neurofibromatosis, also known as Von Recklinghausen disease, which eventually left her blind, deaf and unable to feel. She died at 27. I could not imagine what she must have been going through in such difficult circumstances. I tend to complain about many things which always seem so trivial when I look back on these things. I am not sure how to look at the bigger picture. This is where the saints can help us all.
“Don’t waste your suffering.” Pope John Paul II
Who wants to suffer? Raise your hand! Likely no one will voluntarily do so. Pain is not part of our present-day vocabulary. People look for joy, understanding, or anything else that will make them forget their problems. However, I would not wish suffering on anyone, yet the Lord allows all this for some reason. When Benedetta’s friend replied to her question about suffering, the response was only to say yes! We live in a complicated world and though it might not be different than any other time, it is exacerbated by the fact that the media and the internet bring it right to our phones. I want to only stay close to Christ so as not to misunderstand what he really wants for me. Silence is the order of the day. Being present in front of the Eucharist is so important. Being a witness for others is so important.
“Anything that does not lead you to God is a hindrance. Root it out and throw it far from you.” St. Josemaria Escriba
I needed to think about what St. Jose Escriba said. Do I simply discard what is not useful – even people? This past Sunday, our local Archbishop visited our parish. I usually go to the early morning mass, and it is an older crowd. He reminded us to continue to ask others around us to be part of our Christian lives. Of course, we might get a no answer. He reminded us to continue to ask, to pray for others around us and continue to be present to a world that needs God. When I visit my Carmelite friends, they live in a cloister yet they witness every day to the goodness and greatness of our Lord.
“Wash the plate not because it is dirty nor because you’re told to wash it but because you love the person who will use it next.” St. Teresa of Calcutta