Saints Francis de Sales and Jane de Chantal — Good Spiritual Direction Can Go Both Ways

In the realm of spiritual direction, words exchanged become threads woven into the tapestry of one's spiritual journey. In a recent chatroom conversation, our participants delved into the profound nuances of discernment, as guided by the wisdom of St. Francis de Sales.

The dialogue explores the delicate dance of seeking spiritual guidance and the intricate balance of trust in both parties. As the voices of the chatters interweave, the discussion unravels the essence of confidence in the spiritual director, the beauty of shared insights, and the significance of windows of grace. In this virtual gathering, the echoes of prayer, discernment, and the quest for holiness resonate – painting a portrait of souls seeking divine guidance in the tapestry of life.

If you would like to chat with Catholics like yourself about this topic, why not check out our Living Jesus Chat Room of the Visitation Sisters. Join us at 7:30 p.m. ET each Sunday! We read a passage of St. Francis de Sales and then gather great insights and sharing!

St. Francis de Sales was Cautious

Visitation Sister: When it comes to St. Francis de Sales as a director, St. Francis mentions that the due diligence they took in deliberating about this decision are together “infallible signs” of acting according to God’s will. Does this seem like a stretch?

Sherry: The Lord has answered my desire for fellowship with our chat tonight. And of all things: Spiritual Direction!

Denise: Praying together and discerning, a good thing. Sherry, I too found this topic fitting.

Visitation Sister: St Francis took very seriously the discernment of St Jane being his directee.

Sherry: As for the due diligence… I must say, at the first reading it really sounded to me like “a stretch.” But I know one priest - with whom I have a really good friendship – and if God would put it on my heart to have Spiritual direction from him, I also would pray very hard and long – to make sure that our natural spiritual friendship is not the motivation for this.

Visitation Sister: I do not know how seriously directors today approach direction, but I imagine they do pray about the people who approach them.

Sherry: Yes, they do, but often the discernment happens while you have your first three meetings.

Visitation Sister: I am rusty with direction. It has been over 8 years since I had a director, although I do speak to my confessor.

Sherry: If love for the soul of the directee does not develop, one should not direct a person.

Visitation Sister: Good point. And you have directed others, I think.

Sherry: I did.

Visitation Sister: Superiors receive a grace to direct souls but not in a formal sense. The Sisters still should have a regular director if needed.

Sherry: Sister Susan, I think you are in a setting where you have natural Spiritual direction implied.

Visitation Sister: Yes, that is a good way of seeing it.

Sherry: My question is...” should we even have this confidence”?

Holy Jesuit Could Read Souls

Visitation Sister: My first director was a very holy Jesuit and could read souls. Can you expand on your question, Sherry? Do you mean we should only have confidence in God?

Sherry: Well... If I am feeling confident – that it is easy for me to know God’s will….it will reflect in my approach to discernment. You said it better, Sister.

Bethany: I love the divine mercy chaplet, it is a healing prayer from Jesus to us, we need to pray this prayer, it is wonderful healing for our souls.

Visitation Sister: It is true that a director must be attuned to the Holy Spirit and not try to control the person. Or impose personal thoughts.

Bethany: Jesus directs us how to go to heaven.

Sherry: There are different ways how Spiritual directors work. Mostly according to their charism. I find that St. Francis de Sales had a very unique way of directing.

Visitation Sister: A genius for it, I think.

Sherry: One of my biggest treasures on my bookshelf is a dissertation from a Salesian priest in India – who wrote specifically how St. Francis directed people.

Visitation Sister: Oh, I don’t have that work.

Sherry: I can send you the title. Not sure how it is available.

Visitation Sister: Must be very enlightening.

Sherry: Just love it. So so love it. Back to confidence.

Visitation Sister: Can you remember any insights from that book? We do need confidence of a certain amount in the director or else why trust him/her?

Know Thyself

Sherry: I think it is important to have self-knowledge – and then knowledge of God. This is our confidence. Sorry. I think any shared insights would be too lengthy here.

Visitation Sister: Ok.

Denise: Know thyself.

Sherry: Yes, exactly. Because whenever we interpret God’s actions in our lives – we must see it through the filter of our personality – or story of our life.

Sherry: So... If St. Francis de Sales knew for example… that he really loved the company of women. Specifically, when they are drawn to holiness. It would be natural to really check in. Is the desire to direct this woman coming from my preferences or is that truly from God.

Visitation Sister: It is true he did direct many women, but I imagine he prayed hard before taking on each one.

Sherry: He certainly did.

Bethany: Why we make confession is to help you to know Jesus forgives you when you confess your sin.

Rebecca: Yes, Bethany, preparing for confession and making a good confession, especially with an insightful confessor can help us a great deal to know ourselves better.

Bethany: Jesus gave power to the clergy to do the Eucharist job and forgive your sins.

Finding a Suitable Spiritual Director

Visitation Sister: What if we cannot find a suitable spiritual director? Are there others on whom we can rely for advice?

Denise: It has been a prayer in progress, over time.

Sherry: Personally, I think. If we pray sincerely to find a suitable Spiritual director – out of the desire to grow closer to God’s heart. God will guide us. Secondly, I do not think that Spiritual Direction is only advice giving.

Visitation Sister: Agreement is much more profound than advice.

Sherry: For me Spiritual Direction is being an extended voice of God – to give feedback of the development of one’s soul – to be part of the forming of holiness in one’s person.

Visitation Sister: Good definition.

Sherry: Also, it does need a special love for the directee to truly guide on this way. And you need a given authority over this person – holy love gives this authority to speak in someone else’s life I find.

Denise: I have not found a suitable spiritual director. But I have found God provides, in Scripture, or in my heart. Sometimes someone will bring the direction, or place in my heart what I need to hear. Mostly, it is God that leads, the Holy Spirit. He tells us in John 14:27 that the Father will send the counselor, the Holy Spirit, in his name and will remind us of all things he has said to us.

Visitation Sister: “Direct” direction, straight from the Holy Spirit.

Windows of Grace

Sherry: I agree, Denise. Not everyone needs a Spiritual director. But there are sensitive times in our spiritual lives – when GOD initiates special “windows of grace” – and then it is good to have a Spiritual Director who already knows you and can guide you in these times. And by the way, windows of grace can also be times of extreme dryness.

Denise: I have not thought of that, Sherry. Windows of grace.

Visitation Sister: Beautiful phrase - meaningful.

Denise: Spiritual directors are not always available.

Sherry: Priests are often not available. But people who truly have a Charism for spiritual direction make themselves available for it often. Because they know that this is what God wants them to do.

Rebecca: The Holy Spirit is always available!

Visitation Sister: There is formation involved.

Denise: Yes, Rebecca!

Sherry: Yes. And formation is long-term. A spiritual director can observe from the outside things – how God takes a hold of your heart – often much better than we can see in ourselves. Blessed New Year everyone! Thanks for making my New Years eve special with being on our chat!

Visitation Sister: I will have to go now too. United in prayer!

If you enjoyed this article, why not join us at our Living Jesus Chat Room of the Visitation Sisters. Join us at 7:30 p.m. ET each Sunday! We read a passage of St. Francis de Sales and then gather great insights and sharing!