Lent: A Journey to Find Our True Selves

Every year around this time, I find myself saying: “I love Lent!” As a student of the faith, I love Lent for it’s a wonderful opportunity to explore the richness and depths of our faith. As a student of psychology, I love Lent and the profound opportunity it gives us to explore the depths of our sense of self. And for those of us who are experiencing the never-ending restlessness of modern life, call to mind the words of Saint Augustine, the patron saint of restless hearts, when he said, “Our heart is restless until it rests in God” (Confessions).  

As we go through the constant evolution of the seasons of the year as well as the rapid evolution of the seasons of life, we need this time to slow down, enter into the barrenness of the desert, and dive deep. Peel away the layers of subpersonalities that have overtaken our true authentic self. We get easily carried away by the demands of the different roles and personas of everyday life that we lose our sense of self. We jump from one existential crisis to another. We let our jobs define us. We let society dictate how we should live and who we should love or hate. We allow our vices, pride, greed, and transgressions disconnect us from our authentic self.  We allow our endless longing and scrolling take us farther and farther away from what really matters. We forget who we are and what we are called to be. The Lenten Season is our invitation to a journey of self-rediscovery, to guide us back to finding our way to our true selves, to who we were meant to be.

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.”  - Saint Catherine of Siena.

The journey begins on Ash Wednesday with the priest marking our forehead with ashes as he says: “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” It is a marking that reminds us of our earthly journey and of our connectedness to earth and all of God’s creation. Ash Wednesday gives us a preview of what this journey is all about. The ashes on our forehead mark the beginning as well as the sacredness of this journey. For the next forty days, we voyage into the desert, alone and depleted. Then, into the temple, triumphant and celebratory. Then into the garden, in agony and despair. Then, into the depths of darkness, in tears and in sorrow. 

But patiently we wait, and we endure. We hope and we pray. For we know that the light of Christ will come as promised.

God reminds us that we are not alone in this voyage. He is with us through it all, especially in our suffering. As we are stripped of our material belongings, in our fasting, and in our acts of abandonment and emptying out, Lenten journey is a journey overflowing with the possibility of discovering or rediscovering that we are God’s beloved. It is in the emptiness of the season that we discover the abundance of God’s love for us. God has written in our hearts that beloved is who we are meant to be.  

Here are the lyrics to a song that I highly recommend for this Lenten journey of self-discovery. 

Song of Augustine

Music by Martin Doman from the words of Saint Augustine.

O Beauty so ancient, and yet so new.

Too late I have known You

Too late I have loved You.

I stand here in need of Your mercy

Rebuild me a new, fill my soul.

Let me seek You my soul thirst for You.

You have made me O God,

Live forever in Your love

And my heart will not rest

Until it rests in You

You were always near me

When I was far astray.

You stretched Your hand out to me

But I turned away.

I reached out for creation not creator

The beauty created by Your hand

Even in the shadows Your love broke through

You have made me O God,

To live forever in Your love

And my heart will not rest

Until it rests in You.

You shouted out and broke through my deafness.

You burned brightly and chased away my blindness.

You breathe Your fragrance upon me.

And even now do I yearn for You

You touched me and I burned for Your peace.

You have made me O God,

To live forever in Your love

And my heart will not rest

Until it rests in You

O Beauty so ancient, and yet so new.