What is wrong with being judgmental?

The modern culture can be manipulative at projecting ideas through words. In this sense, they can change people’s concept of a word through clever marketing. A slogan going around today churned up by the pop culture is: “don’t be so judgmental.” It has become the defense mechanism of our generation: “Don’t judge me!” As I will show, this slogan is nothing more than a clever re-packaging of a neutral word turned now into a negative word. Most people don’t even think about what the word judgment means. The official etymology of the root word “judge” is a verb that states: “to form an opinion about; to make a decision.” Therefore, to make judgments is to make a declarative statement that something is right or wrong, good or bad – much like a judge. It is impossible not to judge. Throughout a person’s day, we make numerous judgment calls about what is right and what is wrong. From telling your children “no” or “yes,” to giving a critique about a TV show, movie, restaurant, etc. In fact, our moral code becomes meaningless without making judgments. The second we make an opinion, we simultaneously make a judgment. Everyone is judgmental against rape, torture, and murder. We usher judgment statements anytime we use the word “should” or “shouldn’t.” Everyone makes judgments! In fact, I bet the reader right now is making a judgment on this article.

There are several other problems with this “don’t judge me” theory. Firstly, it is self-contradictory. Do you notice that a person is using judgment to tell others not to judge? When a person states, “You shouldn’t be judgmental,” do you see that that person is being judgmental in that very statement! So, the “don’t judge” statement is utterly self-defeating. Also, that person is being hypocritical in using judgment to say to people don’t judge. It is hypocritical when you do the very thing you say not to do.

What generally happens is that someone will make the claim that Jesus himself said not to be judgmental. However, this is merely a superficial reading of the text in the Sermon on the Mount. Let’s take a close look at this passage to see what Jesus really means here.
The text begins: “Do not judge.” But that’s only the first three words and not even the complete sentence of the verse. The passage goes on more to put everything in context.

“Do not judge that you may not be judged. For as you judge, so will you be judge, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (?Matthew? ?7?:?1-6?)

So, Jesus is not saying don’t judge. He is telling us how to judge; by not judging others with the very same thing we do. He is saying, “Don’t be a hypocrite.” Verse 5 commands us to clean up our own junk, then to help clean up your friends’. He’s stating the obvious, that when you criticize people, they will turn around and criticize you back for that very thing you criticized them for. So, make sure your closet is clean first, and then you can tell your friend their closet has junk in it. Recall, that when a person says “don’t judge” they are being hypocritical as they are doing the very thing they are saying not to. When we realize that Jesus is saying don’t judge like a hypocrite, we come to the ironic conclusion that Jesus is actually condemning the very hypocritical nature of the “don’t judge” crowd.

And then there is John 7:24: “Do not judge by appearances, but judge justly.” Here, Jesus is differentiating between proper and improper judgment. But, he still commands to judge! Notice he again is telling us how to judge.

Maybe we just don’t like the word judge. It sounds so, well, judgmental. Do you see how clever marketing by the pop culture can take a word and make it appear negative? There are plenty of words similar to judge used throughout the Bible like: discern, correct, rebuke, admonish, reprove, etc. (see Proverbs 12:1, Colossians 3:16, 2 Timothy 4:2, Matthew 18:15, etc.)

One of the major goals of Jesus and all humanity is to judge (make a decision) what is true and false, what is good and bad. The entire Bible would not make any sense if Jesus meant that we shouldn’t make a judgment statement. Much of the whole Bible is a prescription of judgment statements to “do this”, and “don’t do this.”

Now that we can see that to judge is a neutral word, we need to ask the deeper question of why this word become some negative today? We can gather an answer from what is known in psychology as Cognitive Dissonance Theory. This theory tells us by responding with “don’t be judgmental” that person is most likely uber sensitive to having their thoughts and feelings proven incorrectly. This idea suggests this person has an uncertainty and insecurity about themselves and their thoughts. Cognitive Dissonance Theory also notes that when people come to the realization that their thinking is wrong (or likely wrong), they will revert to somewhat childish tactics in order to get out of the conversation. Instead of responding with rational evidence, they respond more with an emotional outburst. If it were so obvious that your statement was wrong, it should be easy to for that person to give reasons why. Instead, they simply chant in a somewhat emotional way, “don’t judge!” By giving this emotional response it implies they have no good reasons. Therefore, they need to revert to their last resort – attempt to name call to make this problem go away.

So, what is really going on today in our pop culture is that phrase “don’t be judgmental” is nothing more than a sneaky way in which people try to duck out of the conversation. It is the old strategy of if you can’t take down the message, take down the messenger. We should expect this from people as our flawed nature does not want to be judged. However, if we are flawed that implies we have problems – thus, we need to be judged. If you’re humble enough to know your sick, you’ll be humble enough to hear the bad and yes judgmental news that you’re sick. It’s never pleasant to hear some hard (but loving) truth, but remember the first half of Proverbs 27:6: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Do we like it? Of course not. But we need it.

Now, an important recommendation to understand with the “don’t judge” crowd is that they are most likely over sensitive and tend to be emotional when they are informed their way of thinking is wrong. So, when we do have a conversation with this group, you always need to proceed with caution and grace in giving them the truth. I’ve equated these conversations to much like leading a small intervention.

The “don’t be judgmental” slogan is a popular one among the teens. Occasionally, it is time to help a confused and desperate generation away from the bland messaging of the pop culture and into the truth. As Jesus said, “the truth will set you free” (John 8:32)