Out of the Mouths of Babes: "My Mommy said to say, ‘Thank you.'"

This story is one of a series of stories that begin with the title “Out of the Mouths of Babes.” These stories celebrate the Wisdom of God that can be ours when we listen to and reflect on the words that lead to worship and thanksgiving, words spoken by children. For, as Psalm 8:2-3 tells us, “O Lord, our Lord, how awesome is your name through all the earth! I will sing of your majesty above the heavens with the mouths of babes and infants...^”

When our children were young and my husband was the only one earning a fulltime income, our kindergarten-aged daughter was eligible for a reduced lunch. To say we penny-pinched was no exaggeration. Every penny was accounted for. Period. If I bought myself a pack of gum (which I chewed a lot of then), I felt guilty. One thing I didn’t feel guilty about (or at least only modestly guilty about) was buying some little coloring or reading book for our daughter.

In that regard, I never have forgotten the surprising answer an adult school student gave in response to my question, following our reading of an excerpt from “A Gift of the Magi” by O. Henry. What makes someone poor?

“I would count myself poor if I couldn’t afford buying books for my children,” the mother said.

I guess I took her answer to heart. I guess buying some little inexpensive books for our daughter was a way of assuring myself that, no matter what, we were not financially impoverished.

In any case, during a particular grocery store shopping trip, in which my five-year old daughter accompanied me, I skipped buying gum for myself and bought an inexpensive coloring-activity book for her.

Back home, one of the neighborhood kindergarten girls came over to play outside; she brought some of her favorite toys, and our daughter brought outside some of her favorite toys, too.

I also joined them outside, keeping our younger son out of the girls’ way.

After the little girl left, we went inside. Then, after putting our son down for a nap, I offered to enjoy the coloring-activity book with our daughter.

If the signs of hell are immature anger, resentment, jealousy—you know all the capital sins, that’s when all hell broke loose.

“What do you mean you gave your friend the book I just bought you? How could you do that? How could you be so ungrateful? I gave up buying gum so you could have that book, and you just gave it away?”

To say I was angry was an understatement.

Sometime during my immature harangue, the doorbell rang. There, in all innocence, was our daughter’s little friend, the youngest of five children, plastic baggie in hand.

“My Mommy said to say, ‘Thank you.’”

And with that, she handed us the baggie with a couple of cookies.

To say that I felt smaller than either of the two girls is an understatement.

“Please tell your mother thank you. It is very nice of you to bring us some cookies. We hope you enjoy the book.”

I think I actually meant what I said about the book.

When the door closed, I had to face our daughter.

“You were right,” I said. “The activity book was yours to keep for yourself or to give away. That was very nice of you. I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

Even now, decades later, whenever I’m feeling bad that someone to whom I have given a gift that I sacrificed to get for them gives the gift away, I get the same feelings of indignation. Then I see the face of the child at the door, and I feel small again.

That child’s beautiful face haunts me all the more knowing that she died, rather tragically, when she was in her mid-twenties. More than ever, I hope she enjoyed coloring and doing other activities in that hands-on book when she was just a little girl.

“My Mommy said to say, ‘Thank you.’”

So what did I learn, in Gospel terms?

Of course, the first quote that comes to mind is this one: “It is more blessed to give than to receive." (Acts 20:35)

I think, too, of John 3:16—of how God the Father so loved the world that He gave us His Only-Begotten Son, and then, in the Passion narrative, that Jesus gave His life for us, and even now gives Himself to us in the Holy Eucharist.

Also, I think about how many graces, how many gifts, how many outpourings of grace have I thrown back in the Father’s Face, not thanking Him, not reciprocating by doing good for others in His Holy Name.

“The measure with which you measure will be measured out to you…” (Mark 4:24)

I’m glad our daughter was generous, and at the same time, I am gratified, as she grew older, that she was not inclined to “buy” friendships or affections.

On one of her milestone coming-of-age birthdays, her grandmother and I gave her a simple pearl necklace, and I included a little note to her with some motherly advice and concern based on the Scripture about not casting one’s pearls before swine (Cf. Matt. 7:6).

Knowing to whom, as well as how and when, to give our time, talents, and treasures calls for God’s Wisdom and our discernment.

“My Mommy said to say, ‘Thank you.’”

Surely our Blessed Mother Mary sorrows when we do not say thank you for gifts given by Her Merciful Son.

This Jubilee Year of Mercy, let us be grateful to our God, and let us verbalize that gratitude in word and deed through the spiritual and corporal works of mercy. May God bless you!