Are You a Gossip? Take This 15-Point Gossip Test to Find Out

Are you a gossip? I don’t know anyone who would like to be known as a gossip but how many of us could honestly say that they have never engaged in it? It is one of those sins that is so insidious that oftentimes, we are able to convince ourselves that what we are saying is not really gossip.We use different excuses to justify this claim and some of them are included in the 15-point gossip test below. 

Read the 15 excuses below to determine if you have engaged in this sin. Circle the number of each one that applies to you. All it takes is one yes to qualify as a gossip.  The more numbers circled, the more of a problem you have. 

But don’t despair, once you have scored your test, scroll down to read nine motivational reasons to give up the habit for good. 

1. It's okay to repeat something as long as it is true.
2. It’s okay because I am praying for her. 
3. Some actions warrant gossip. 
4. I didn’t mean to gossip. It just slipped out. 
5. I wanted to solicit prayers for her so I told others about it. 
6. I was so upset and I really needed to vent.
7. I only told one person. 
8. I had to tell someone because I kept it secret for over a month.
9. I only told a person I knew would keep it in confidence.
10. I was seeking advice on what to do.
11. Jesus understands why I said it. He knows my heart. 
12. I ended the conversation with positive statements about the person so it’s okay.
13. No worries, before divulging anything negative I listed his good qualities.
14. I knew the person I told was mature enough and wouldn’t be negatively affected by what I said.
15. The person I told doesn’t know them so it’s okay. 

If there is not a serious reason to divulge the information, then it is the sin of detraction to share negative information about another person. Some examples of serious reasons would be the following:

• If your friend’s daughter has been asked out for a date by a young man who has a criminal record for dealing drugs, it would be prudent to let her know. 
• If your friend is about to do business with a person who is known for deceptive business practices that would be good information to share.

But telling a friend about another family’s out of wedlock pregnancy is not a good idea. That would be gossip. 

God created us as social beings and regular communication is a big part of that. It is almost instinctive to want to share good news and bad news or things that shock us.  The problem comes in when what we are saying damages another person’s reputation; that is when it crosses the line and becomes sinful. 

Here are 9 good reasons never to gossip again (some from Patti Armstrong):

1. To hurt someone through talking about them behind their back, you have to strike Jesus first.  "Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of mine, even the least of them, you did it to me" (Matthew 25:40).

2. In order for you to gossip, you have to hold a negative memory and share it with another person.  Negative thoughts in your brain cause the release of cortisol, the stress hormone, into your blood.  This weakens your immune system and inhibits the actions of your white blood cells which increases the chances for infection and even promotes weight gain — all from negative thinking you spread through gossiping.

3. What goes around comes around.  In Matthew 7:12, Jesus told us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us.  He also warned us: in Luke 6:38 that, "The measure with which you measure will be measured back to you."

4. Gossiping gives you a bad reputation.  Have you ever heard someone described as a big gossip?  That realization makes them unattractive to others as untrustworthy and mean-spirited.  Consider the opposite: a trustworthy person who speaks kindly of others.  Choose the image you want.

5. What you say about others is more of an indication of who you are than who they are.  Some people speak kindly and compliment others while others seem never to be at a loss for a criticism of others.  What you say about others is a reflection of who you are.

6. Risk of Embarrassment.  Once you've said something, you cannot 100 percent trust that it will not be repeated and get back to the person that you were gossiping about.  If you would not say something in front of them, then don't say it behind their backs.

7. It's a sin.  It comes under the Fifth Commandment, "Thou Shalt Not Kill," because it kills the reputation of another.

8. Spreading gossip sows negative seeds and you have no idea what those seeds will grow into. You have no idea of the ripple effect of your words. Words are powerful and as scripture tells us “I tell you, on the day of judgment men will render account for every careless word they utter” (Matthew 12:36). 
And from the book of James 3:5-12

“How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature,  and is itself set on fire by hell. For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters,[d] this ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and brackish water? Can a fig tree, my brothers and sisters,  yield olives, or a grapevine figs? No more can salt water yield fresh water."a

9. You are hurting everyone involved. "Do not speak ill of anyone. Those who gossip wound themselves, their listeners and the ones they speak of" (Saint Bernard). 

We have free will so the choice is ours. Will we spread criticism or scandal about others to satisfy a disordered desire to vent or attract attention?  Or, will we, instead, choose the better part and remain silent out of love for God, others and our own souls?

We can even go the extra mile and pray for the person we were tempted to gossip about. In this way we will grow in virtue and holiness. 

It boils down to a choice between life and death;  either ruining our reputation, sinning and hurting others or growing in virtue and holiness. When put this way, the choice is obvious! “Choose life that you may live!” (Deuteronomy 30:19).

"I call heaven and earth to witness against you today that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live" (Deuteronomy 30:19).