God Gave Marital Headship to Men, part 1 of 5

The Catholic Church teaches that men and women are equal and complementary: of equal dignity and of equal value as human beings and with complimentary gifts from God. Nonetheless, there is tremendous and unignorable Scriptural evidence that God gives headship in marriage to husbands. This is not a contradiction to or a negation of the equality and complementarity of men and women, as taught and embraced by the Catholic Church and other parties, but is a bestowal of authority within marriage and family on husbands that takes nothing away from the dignity of women, but is a compliment to their femininity and is meant to be a blessing upon women.

In addition to scriptural evidence, there are vast references to male-marital-headship-as-planned-by-God in papal encyclicals and other Catholic sources. Exhausting all of said sources would be beyond the scope of this article. This multi-part article will make use of a sampling of well-known sources to support that headship in marriage is meant to belong to husbands in Christian marriage.

What constitutes marital headship, how marital headship is best exercised, and if and/or when male marital headship may be invalidated or nullified, are all essential questions of colossal magnitude. Nonetheless, such questions are beyond the scope of this article. All references to male marital headship in this article are to be taken as a general assumption of a husband endeavoring selflessly (with God’s grace) to be a benevolent leader and the ultimate decision-maker in his marriage.

Scripture presents tremendous evidence that God gave marital headship to husbands. Proof of God giving marital headship to husbands, and a helpful illustration of marital headship, is found when one looks closely at the travels of the Holy Family.

"...an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said, ‘Rise, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there till I tell you; for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.’ And he rose and took the child and his mother by night, and departed to Egypt, and remained there until the death of Herod." Matthew 2:13-15 (Revised Standard Version Second Catholic Edition)

The angel told Joseph to take Mary and Jesus to Egypt. Later, the angel told Joseph to take his family from Egypt to their next destination. The angel did not speak to Mary. The angel did not speak to Joseph and Mary together. The angel spoke to Joseph only. The burden of responsibility was given by God (via the angel) to Joseph to protectively lead the Holy Family to safety. Mary, presumably, got to rest and sleep and tend to the infant Jesus while Joseph was learning all that God was demanding of him as the husband and father from the start.

Even though Mary would become the Queen of Heaven, even though she was full of grace (Luke 1:28)---unlike Saint Joseph (who though saintly, was not full of grace as uniquely Mary was)---even though Mary was the Ark of the Covenant, Joseph was the head of the Holy Family. The Litany of Saint Joseph calls Saint Joseph the “Head of the Holy Family.”

Even though Mary, in holiness, outranked any other person to walk the planet, Jesus aside, God did not make her the head in her marriage or family. The Flight Into Egypt shows this. With all of Our Lady’s glory and responsibility as the Mother of God, why would God burden Our Lady with the further responsibility and earthly work and hardship of being a co-head or the head in her marriage? The answer is that God would not and God did not. God gave Mary the gift of Saint Joseph to be the head of their family, so she could sleep while Joseph received the message to get her and their child out of harm’s way. This is a microcosm of God’s bestowal of marital headship on husbands and its purpose. The example of the Holy Family shows that God’s plan of husbands-having-headship-in-marriage, is not related to the holiness or amazingness of either spouse, since if it were, Mary would have been the head of the Holy Family.

Part 2: https://www.catholic365.com/article/36871/god-gave-marital-headship-to-men-part-2-of-5.html