The BEST Questions to Prepare Your Toddlers for Mass

Shh!

Sit in the Front

Stand in the Back

Read Books

Hide Snacks

Repeat

These are some of the strategies I've employed in attempting to keep my toddlers in good behavior during Mass over the past 6 years. And as "strategies," they don't really work very well.

We Mama's have read endless debates about managing our children's behavior in Mass and how other people outside our families perceive our children's behavior in Mass.

All debating aside, these are the tried-and-true, BEST questions to prepare our toddlers for Mass. This approach guarantees that at the same time as we are setting expectations for the special, specific behavior we want to see in Mass, we are also developing their souls to understand, from a very early age, that Mass is VERY special, more special than any place we will ever go, and more special than just being on our best behavior - we do certain things in Mass, and we do not do certain things in Mass. These are the questions to ask, and this is how it sounds in my van on Sunday mornings.

"Ok, kids, we are on our way to Mass.

Why do we go to Mass?
Answer: To be with Jesus and our friends who want to be with Jesus
What do we do in Mass?
Answer: We pray.
Who do we pray to?
Answer: Jesus.
Why do we pray to Jesus?
Answer: Because He loves us.
Who in our family really needs to pray so our family can grow in love and be in Heaven some day?
Answer: Daddy and Mommy. (or other adults)
So do we need to give Daddy and Mommy special quiet time to pray?
Answer: Yes.
Do we climb on the pews in Mass?
Answer: No.
Do we stand on our heads in Mass?
Answer: No.
Do we have a dance party in Mass? (assuming this isn't a Charismatic Mass)
Answer: No.
Do we sing when everyone is singing in Mass?
Answer: Yes.
What do we do when everybody stands up in Mass?
Answer: We stand.
What do we do when everybody sits down in Mass?
Answer: We sit.
What do we do when everybody kneels in Mass?
Answer: We kneel (or stand if we're shorter than the pew).
What do we do when Father has praying hands?
Answer: We show praying hands.

I'm a mom of four kids age 2, 4, 5, and 7. When they provide the correct answers, I say a combination of "Correct." "Very good." "Yes, Johnpaul." "You're right, Esther." Yes, some of these questions are silly and get giggles, but then they realize that these behaviors are too silly for Mass and they would be out of place in Mass. Of course, I'm realistic... yes, my 3-year-old has started his own dance party in Mass, yes, my 5-year-old has stood on his head in Mass... but repeating this weekly brings them around to an idea that these behaviors are too silly for Mass. When we take them out to the vestibule for a dance party, or other such behavior, they are not surprised or wondering what they did - they know. We don't see others doing it, so we don't do it either.

Over the past seven years, I've read and discussed a lot of debates over kids in Mass. I've read and heard priests and lay alike offer their opinions, advice, and tips - some quite unwelcome, I assure you. But I rarely hear actual strategies that work. A script, I submit this script, because it works. It works with any child who understands questions and simple answers. And if we repeat this script each week on our way to Mass, we don't warn our kids, "Don't be bad!" and thus presume to them that our expectation is that they will misbehave, we set the standard high, and we aim that standard towards a catechesis and the reasons behind why we would need to behave in a particular way. Mass is so special. Whether our kids perfectly align with the expectations we have discussed before Mass, they know them and they hear them every week, and we don't ask these questions during any other time of the week, so it is special and it is specific. I don't claim to be an expert, but I sure do see an opportunity for catechesis here, and it sets the bar at the importance and beauty of Mass - the greatest prayer of all.