Should Fear be a Part of our Vocabulary?

I once had some very hard decisions to make and asked for some advice.  I was scared at the ramifications of these decisions and was not sure which path to choose.  I received various answers, and some good advice.  Among all the advice I received one answer stuck with me: “Scared really isn’t part of my vocabulary”.  What a noble sentiment!  As a man, a part of that sentence resonates with me, and how I wish I could acclaim it as true and valuable!  The truth of the matter is, the sentiment of not having fear or “scared” as part of your vocabulary is a false sense of courage.  I would not trust the safety of my family to such a man, nor would I accompany him into battle: if scared is not part of your vocabulary, you simply do not know how you will act when in the face of helpless, hopeless and horrific catastrophe.  True courage is, to paraphrase the great “saint” John Wayne, “Bravery is being scared to death and saddling up anyway!”

Hard sayings, I know.  And I understand some pushback against my assertion that to know no fear (especially if you have never felt it) is a falsity.  Fear is a very real reaction, and what is more is a human emotion.  We (at least I) am tempted by a gut response of disgust when someone displays fear, but when fear is accompanied by the appropriate level of danger or hardship it is just as valid and appropriate of a response as any one of the range of human emotions.  That pesky word “appropriate” makes the actual judging of the event tricky, since “appropriate” has to do with the individual displaying the emotion.  But emotions are to be controlled, not controlling, and while the display of fear may or may not be appropriate the feeling of fear within the individual person is just that: a feeling.  To display or not is within the judgement and willpower of the individual; whether they experience fear or not is entirely at the whim of the body and the past experiences of the person.

We all hope and pray to remain strong and almost stoic in the face of fear, but true courage is to know ourselves and what we must do, setting ourselves up so that in the face of fear even if our will fails we might still accomplish the mission.  One real life example of the bravery I am talking about is the Father of the Church, Bishop and Martyr Ignatius of Antioch.  He was arrested for being a Christian in the early centuries of the Church, but the authorities who arrested him were in no hurry to bring him to Rome.  Assumedly they were lazy, and they took the long way to Rome, giving Ignatius much time for reflection and writing.  Writing in his Epistle to the Romans, he first admits his heroic aspirations and recognizes the very real end that is waiting for him when he reaches Rome: he is to be fed to the lions.  This end he realizes and readily accepts, writing, “The birth pangs are upon me.  Once arrived [in Rome], I shall be a man.  Permit me to be an imitator of my suffering God.  If anyone holds Him in his heart, let him understand what I am aspiring to; and then let him sympathize with me, knowing in what distress I am (Epistle to the Romans, paragraph 6)”.  What clear acceptance of his death!  

In his description of his noble yearning for martyrdom also alludes to his human reaction of distress, a sentiment explicitly acknowledged in the next paragraph.  Knowing the full humanness of his own being and the weakness of the human spirit in the literal jaws of death, Ignatius tells the Church of Rome that the Devil is trying to corrupt his noble aspirations and courage, and he pleads with Rome to: “should I upon my arrival plead for your intervention, do not listen to me.  Rather, give heed to what I write to you.  I am writing while still alive, but my yearning is for death… Pray for me that I may succeed (paragraph 7).”  He basically tells them: I want to die, but I know I am human.  If I should cave in the arena or beforehand and beg you to free me, ignore me.  Pay attention to what I am writing to you now!  In this, Ignatius shows the true courage I am talking about: he knows the limits of himself and what he is called to do in the witness of martyrdom.  Knowing himself to be weak, he does what he has to and what he can do to accomplish the task in spite of himself.  He utilizes the reason he retains while on the mountain, seeing clearly the task before him and fully understanding it, so that when he is in the trenches and cannot see with his full personhood because of his overwhelming distress he can rely on the knowledge and efforts he set up for himself.  

There is a very moving movie based on a true story called “To End All Wars”.  In this story it follows a few Allied Soldiers in WWII who were held in a Japanese POW camp in Burma.  One of the Soldiers is a Christian, who does his best to live according to the dictates of his Faith while under close scrutiny and torture.  The brutality experienced within the camp is horrific, and his unshakeable Faith gets under the skin of his captors.  In a very moving scene at the end, the Soldier with great courage and nobility takes the place of one of his fellow prisoners who was to be executed.  When he is not marched to a wall for firing squad but is taken to a remote location, he is confused until he sees what the Japanese have prepared for him: a Cross to be crucified upon.  The Soldier, confronted with the horror and long, agonizing hours that are to be his tortuous death can do nothing but scream with terror.  His captors are of course pleased with their own devices but the Soldier accepts his death in spite of himself.  Fear was clearly a part of this Soldier’s vocabulary, as was it a part of Ignatius’.  As was it a part of Christ’s in the Garden.  But because of this fear and knowledge of self, all three of these figures were also capable of Bravery.  They saddled up anyway.