Why Did Thomas Doubt?
As we prepare to enter Holy Week, we will see a major theme surfacing. This theme is an emphasis on the resistance religious leaders offered to Jesus during his time. We will see the men who should have, more than anyone else, recognized the coming of the Messiah. They spent all their time studying the scrolls, reading the texts, offering the prayers, and yet they could not recognize God having come into their midst.
In John 8, the Jewish leaders are having a heated argument with Jesus. Our Lord is imploring them, trying to get them to see the truth of Who He Is before their eyes. They are not comprehending, despite the exhortations of Our Lord. The Jews point to their lineage from Abraham, as a testament to their protected status in the eyes of God. Descending from Abraham, in the eyes of the Jews, made them God’s chosen people, and therefore they understood what was best. Not only this, but because they were following Abraham, that made them children of God.
Jesus rebuts this by saying, “If God were your Father, you would love Me, for I came from God and now I am here. I did not come on My own, but He sent Me.” (John 8:42 NRSVCE) He then proceeds to dress them down and explain, in clear detail, how they might profess that they belong to God with their lips but all of the actions that they have undertaken prove that there is no truth to their convictions. This, of course, infuriates them. They try insulting Jesus (spoiler, it does not work), and Jesus merely responds by affirming His relationship with the Father and how the Jews are effectively rejecting God if they do not accept Him.
Then Jesus takes it a step further. He goes right back to the Abraham argument the Jews tried to make at the beginning of the discussion, and He says, “Your ancestor Abraham rejoiced that he would see My day; He saw it and was glad.” (John 8:56 NRSVCE) The Jews are confused by this, pointing out that Jesus is quite young and therefore it is impossible that He could have claimed to see Abraham. Jesus responds by dropping an absolute bomb on them: “Very truly, I tell you, before Abraham was, I AM.” (John 8:58)
It is here that the English language fails us a little bit. Why does Jesus declaring something as basic as “I am” then lead the Jews to pick up stones to throw at Him? Did they finally just tire of the argument and decide that they needed to get rid of Him? Absolutely not. A better rendering of the phrasing here, actually, is “I Am Who Am.” That is the closest English translation of the thundering Hebrew that God gave to Moses as His name in the Old Testament, in the Book of Exodus, in the burning bush. Jesus is not merely declaring that He is higher than Abraham, He is explicitly giving Himself identity with God.
The Jews were horrified and shocked by this. Only one time at any point in time throughout the year was a Jew ever allowed to utter that phrase: the high priest, entering the Holy of Holies, on Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement. Any other time or any other circumstance under which that Name was uttered was considered blasphemy, and blasphemers were to be stoned to death. Despite all of the miracles, despite all of the teachings, despite everything He had done to that point, rather than accepting the truth that Jesus had laid down before them, which was that He was Lord, the Jews elected to accept the position that He was blaspheming.
That seems a little ridiculous to us, in the modern setting, hearing that story and wondering how the Jews could not comprehend what was right in front of them. But are we really that different from them?
How many times have we walked into a church sanctuary, and rather than hearing reverent silence in the Presence of Jesus we hear people whispering and gossiping about things that have nothing to do with prayer or reverencing the Lord, especially officials of the church in question?
How many times have we failed to genuflect before the Tabernacle, or make the Sign of the Cross, or offer some other sign that we recognize the Person Who dwells in our midst?
How many times have we willfully disregarded the Church’s instruction on certain practices such as obligatory Mass attendance on Sundays and holy days, attendance of Confession at least once a year (and certainly after every mortal sin), or failed to contribute to our parish community in a meaningful way for something other than self-gratification?
How many times have we made a rivalry with someone, and when we hear about that person doing something good scoffed that anything good or redemptive could ever come from that person’s life story?
Must I continue? If any of those examples, or examples like them, made you uncomfortable, good. They should. Because every time we do something like that – and this author is no exception – we are behaving exactly as those leaders behaved. We see Jesus right in front of us, and we still refuse to behave as though the Lord of Lords is Present among us.
But here’s the really awful thing. We have no excuse. The Jewish leaders could plead ignorance on some level, but we have no excuse. We have the testimonials of the apostles, the great two thousand year tradition of the Church, the strength of the sacraments, and God physically Present in a particular way in our church sanctuaries. We have no excuse.
Saint John the Baptist called them a “wicked brood of vipers.” (Luke 3:7, NRSVCE) How much greater is the scorn and the condemnation upon we who have the fullness of truth, if that was the measure given out to the Pharisees acting in ignorance?
This is pretty straightforward. The question is this: do you believe God is Present among us, or not? If the answer is yes, then the remedies for avoiding acting like them and instead behaving in the fullness of the Christian life are pretty straightforward.
Be reverent in the sanctuary of the churches, talking only when absolutely necessary and in as hushed a voice as possible when you do.
Applaud the sinner striving for repentance, even if you are not sure the repentance is sincere, because you might be the spark of hope that makes insincere repentance become sincere.
Support the leadership of the Church, even in their brokenness and their sins, and even if you disagree with what they are doing. You can have an opinion if you disagree with them, but the way in which you disagree with them cannot threaten the unity of the Church. Disunity in the Body of Christ breaks belief in Our Lord Himself (see John 17 if you do not believe me.)
Above all, strive not to see with the eyes, but rather with the soul. Listen to the quiet murmuring of the Holy Spirit, because He will teach you all things and lead you to the response to which you are called. If your prayer life is solid, you will know the liars and the false paths when you see them. If your prayer life is weak, your life will be filled with confusion and anger and noise, and you risk falling yourself.
We have seen the Lord’s day. Let us rejoice and be glad, especially as Easter approaches!