Bruised but not Broken

"A bruised reed he shall not break, and a smoldering wick he shall not quench."

This prophecy, which comes from the 42nd chapter of Isaiah, offers sound wisdom. I think of it as being the equivalent of not kicking someone when they are down, i.e., breaking the bruised reed.

Sometimes, it is better not to interject our opinions and proposed solutions, but to become a good listener. There are times when the gift of listening is our best response, lest we cause more suffering.

I remember interviewing a couple about marriage encounter many years ago, for a story.  They told me that one thing her husband had learned, was that when she was describing a problem, she wasn't necessarily looking for him to solve it, but just listen and give her time to vent.

His natural tendency, observing the pain his wife was going through, was to step in and try to fix it, even though she wasn't looking for that at all. Of course, if she did need that from him, she would have to let him know.

We should keep this in mind, whenever someone comes to us as a bruised reed.  What do they need from us?  We certainly do not want to make things worse.

When a bruised reed makes an appearance, sometimes well-placed questions can be helpful, allowing them to problem-solve in a way that is meaningful to them.

Who do you know that is exhibiting "bruised reed" characteristics?  What might you do to help, rather than break them?  Judgment is not usually helpful.

Asking God, in humility, to show you how to respond in love, is a sure-fire way to accompany someone who is struggling.  

As we begin holy week, may you come to know the love that Jesus poured out for you from the cross.

Janet Cassidy
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