Take Up Your Cross - Part 2

Take Up Your Cross – Part 2

Submitted by Thomas Stidl

         In part 1, I wrote about how sickness affects a child’s life as well as the parents.  In part 2, I wish to undertake the sickness and death of parents.

         I would like to explore two scenarios.  The first scenario is the death of a parent with a child under 18 years of age.  A sickness for an adult that results in the death of a parent is a horrendous cross to bear.  The sickly adult must prepare the child for the eventuality of his or her death along with his or her own suffering.  That is quite a task.  The surviving must be prepared to become both mother and father to the child along with the realization of the trauma of his or her own great loss.  The child will all also feel a sense of great loss.  From that family, many tears will flow.  There may be financial hardships as well as the surviving spouse must become the breadwinner for the entire family besides being the nurturer of the child.

         Where can families in this situation go to get help?  There are many social networks that can help.  The families should turn to the Church for guidance, but there is a more important person to seek assistance.  His name is Jesus.  Every morning and every night, our survivors must pray for the wisdom and guidance that only God can give.  It will not be easy.  There will be moments of grief and sadness.  With family love, God will help ease the sorrow and pain and send the actual graces to solve the problems and cope with daily life until we are all reunited with Jesus and our loved ones in heaven.

         The second scenario is the sickness and death of a parent after the children become adults.  This too is a sad time.  The adult children must accept the fact that he or she must care for their aging parents.  If there are multiple children, all must share in that responsibility.  It should not be left to one child to do all the work.  I realize that when children become adults they go their separate ways.  As the saying goes, the smallest bird must try its wings and leave the nest.  Even those children should call daily to see how mom and dad are doing when healthy, but especially when mom and dad are sick and approaching death.  Once again, the parents are bearing the trauma of the illness, while the children brace themselves for the loss of those nearest and dearest to their heart.  If there is as surviving parent, that parent should not be left to live alone.  I also do not believe nursing homes should be used for the healthy elderly person.  This is what families are meant to do.  The words are love and caring.

         How does the adult child cope with the grief and sorrow?  You turn to your fellow human beings for consolation and to Jesus and his words.  “I am the resurrection and the life.  He who believes in me will never die.”  Comfort yourself with these words.

        Until next time, Laus Tibi, Christe.  Deo Gratias.  Gloria Tibi Domini.  Praise be to God.  See you in Paradise. Amen.