What's Going On With Our Men?
The Power of Pain
We all know what pain feels like; but, do you know why we experience pain? What is its purpose? Who does it serve? Specialists tell us that pain is a warning system; in fact, the human body’s ability to feel pain is part of its defense mechanisms for maintaining our integrity and protecting us from harm. 1 It is an inherent part of our bio-psychosocial framework.2 that warns us that something is haywire in our body. It is often an early warning system — a siren — for our body and mind. It is very effective!
In another context, Pastor Rick Warren preaches that because we live in a world broken by sin, life itself is painful. He states that almost everyone is living with some kind of pain — physical, relational, mental, emotional, financial, social, or spiritual. And, all pain hurts! Most of us realize that we will experience pain someday. We also realize that we can’t choose to opt out of it.”3 Yet, some of us expect to mitigate it if and when it occurs. Pain is also the great equalizer — it does’t discriminate between people. We will all experience pain sometime; it may be acute; chronic or episodical. Parents try to protect their children from pain by advising them to be “careful, don’t hurt yourself.” This warning is both wise yet counterproductive. Yes, we need to protect our children to the best of our abilities; and yes, we also have to teach them to explore and test the limits of their endurance otherwise they may not even learn to crawl or walk for fear of getting hurt. Needless fear can itself cause debilitating emotional pain. Young adults also have to test the limits in order to figure out who they are. Consider the adventurers who — despite pain and suffering — opened the world for the rest of us. They taught us the risks [death/injury] and rewards [knowledge] of scaling the highest peaks, the deepest oceans, and the vast open spaces in the sky.
Does pain condition us to bear more pain? Is there a difference between pain vs PAIN? Did you know that emotional pain runs as deep as other pain; in fact, it can leave deeper, longer lasting, invisible, wounds. Recently a young man died prematurely. Our minds immediately wanted to know why? Was his untimely death a suicide, drug/alcohol overdose or car accident? Did knowing the cause of his death erase our emotional pain; his parents’ pain? My guess is no; however, knowing WHY seems to help them deal with the loss better. Perhaps it spares them from the anguish of self blame — the coulda, woulda, shoulda — done something sooner or later. BTW, the young man died of undiagnosed heart issues. Family and friends are devastated by his death. Same goes for a friend whose husband died recently. And we all know people sho suffer from a downturn of health; failed marriages, lost friendships, missed opportunities, etc., etc., etc.
How are we to deal with pain — be it physical, mental or emotional? Is there even a real purpose for pain? Fr. Jacque Philippe writes: “At the center of Jesus’ humanity is his wounded Heart. It was tore open so that God’s love could be poured out on us and we could have access to God. Only when our own hearts too have been laid open by a wound will we be able to receive that outpouring of love. Then a true exchange of love, the goal of the life of prayer, can occur. Then our prayer can become what it is mean to be: A heart-to-Heart. … When God our Lord reveals himself to us, he is seeking, naturally to heal us from bitterness, faults, true or false guild, hardness and much more. … But it is important to understand that in a certain sense he seeks to wound us even more than to heal us. It is by wounding us more and more deeply that he will bring about our true cure.”4
Wow! This statement can be transformative. In other words, our afflictions are God’s way of providing us with greater, higher, and deeper access to Him! While this may be hard to realize amidst new-found pain, its important to recall that hardships and pain are how God gets our undivided attention. But we have to allow it! All too often, we rely on ourselves and our busy-ness and forget about God and His Love for each of us. Pain is said to be the cure to this self-absorption; after all, holy suffering generates holy attitudes and that is no small feat!
What can we do when we feel like we are losing the battle against Faith, Hope and Charity because of pain? Step 1: Realize that pain is meant to draw us to the torn heart of Christ. 2. The degree of pain may indicate how badly wants our attention. 3. If prayer seems difficult, let those who suffered before us set an example. 4. Pick up your Bible and read through the Book of Job while journaling key thoughts. 5. Did you know that Job displayed virtue throughout his ordeals? They included humility; trust and faith in God. These virtues grew despite the intensity of his sufferings. These same virtues — humility, trust, and strong faith — are key to our healing also. 6. The Book of Psalms“enables us to see that we're not the first to feel that God is silent when we pray. Neither are we the first to feel immense anguish and bewilderment while praying. The Psalms offer us ways to bow in worship, to rejoice in prayer, and to exalt God for all he does.”5
Pain and suffering can be a most excellent teacher if we listen to it. May God bless all of His suffering servants.
1 Walters ET, Williams AC. Evolution of mechanisms and behavior important for pain. Philos Trans R. Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2019;374(1785):20190275. doi:10.1098/rstb.2019.0275.
2. Yassi A. Repetitive strain injuries. Lancet. 1997;349(9056):943–947. doi:10.1016/S0140-6736(96)07221-2.
3. God’s Purpose in Your Pain by Rick Warren https://www.plough.com/en/topics/faith/discipleship/gods-purpose-in-your-pain.
4. Time for God by Jacque Philippe; pages 72 - 73.
5. [wearefaith.org]