Like mother, like daughter

I wish I could say that I am like my mother. She was meek and loving. The best mama a kid could ask for. I saw her submit to my father in so many way I would not. She never spoke out to him. What he said was the law and she didn't buck. She reminded me of our Blessed Mother, the way she would keep so much inside. Holding it in. I'm not like that, I'm a bucking bronco.

     My life has been quite different than hers. I was so young when I got married. 18 years old. I knew nothing about life like most young girls of that age. But I thought I could handle it because of such a beautiful, loving, religious based upbringing.

     I was spoiled because my Ex-husband spoiled me before we were married, and he was everything I wanted in a man. Caring, Loving, Catholic, and he could play the guitar. A selfless soul that just wanted to appease me no matter what. My mother was thrown into adulthood at 16 years old. Why was it so hard for me? I wanted to be like her so bad. But my feistiness and inexperience held me back. Everything went so fast and before I knew it, him and I had grown apart. All of the qualities that he displayed before, were weakening. Almost to their opposites. After 15 years of marriage, we had 4 beautiful girls, and we were worlds apart. I needed to breathe. So I did. My mother was there for me unconditionally.

     I love my mother and I miss her so much. So many times I just wanna talk to her. Sometimes just for listening. I feel she's watching over me from heaven.

     Like mother, Like daughter. Maybe there's still time....