When You Feel Like You’re Falling Behind in Life

A few weeks ago, I ran into a childhood friend. He was busy wiping down the sleek, shiny surface of his brand-new car. The sunlight glinted off its flawless exterior, and I couldn't help but marvel at the gleaming masterpiece before me. Genuine happiness surged within me for my friend. I knew he had worked hard to afford such a luxury. Yet, amid the sincere joy, a hiss of jealousy subtly crept in. It wasn't an overwhelming wave – but it was undeniably there.

And I’m pretty sure that you have also experienced this at some point in your life.

Witnessing your friend marrying their true love, seeing your officemate secure the promotion you've longed for, and discovering that the high school classmate who once bullied you is now a thriving business owner – it's irrefutably challenging to process, isn't it?

Was I lagging behind in the race of life?

It sucks, right? Experiencing a sense of falling behind in life is a common experience, and it can be gravely discouraging. Nevertheless, it is crucial to confront these moments with a proactive attitude. Here are some actions you can consider when you feel that you are trailing behind:

1. Take a break
Step on the brakes for a moment. Give yourself the space to reflect on your emotions and, more importantly, the underlying reasons behind them. Dissect the aspects of your life where this sensation of falling behind is most pronounced. It could be associated with career achievements, personal relationships, educational pursuits, or even personal development. Like any ailment, a doctor cannot prescribe the correct medication unless the root cause of the illness is identified.

2. Recognize your unique pace
After assessing the aspects in your life where you feel like you’re going a bit slow, ask these questions: Are these grounded in reality? Do they reflect genuine aspirations and values, or have they been influenced by external pressures and societal norms? Sometimes, our perception of falling behind is a result of comparing our journey to others, societal standards, or arbitrary timelines. Resist the temptation to compare your journey with others. What works for someone else might not be fitting for you. Focus on your unique strengths and goals.

3. Calibrate your priorities
Discovering your values reveals the guiding principles that shape your purpose. These values help evaluate if your goals align with your beliefs. If there's an incompatibility, it's an opportunity for reflection. Adjusting priorities isn't about rejecting societal expectations but rather integrating your personal values. This alignment ensures that your actions authentically represent your true self, not merely reactions to external pressures. Realignment may include restructuring goals or redefining success, calling for self-awareness, and a willingness to change in accord with your genuine self.

4. Embrace change
The dynamic nature of life requires adaptability. Perceived setbacks might actually guide you to a more fulfilling path. Being open to change is not just virtuous but also crucial for personal growth. Embrace uncertainties as chances for new possibilities. Instead of resisting the unknown, view it as a canvas of possibilities waiting to be explored. Stay adaptable to gracefully navigate life's uncertainties with resilience.

5. Set realistic goals
Breaking down tasks into smaller strides can help reduce feelings of overwhelm and enable a more tangible tracking of progress. Consistent accomplishments serve as motivation and contribute to a sense of achievement. The division of goals also assists in a more efficient allocation of resources, including time, energy, and finances. The breakdown of tasks allows for the early detection and mitigation of potential risks, promoting a proactive approach to risk management.

6. Celebrate your victories
Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. Doing so boosts confidence and affirms your capabilities and progress. Celebrating small victories motivates continued effort. By consciously recognizing achievements, you cultivate a positive mindset, shifting your focus from what's undone to what you've accomplished. Taking time to celebrate gives a sense of purpose, reminding you of the meaningful reasons behind your goals.

7. Learn from your setbacks
Consider setbacks as valuable experiences that offer insights into what went wrong. Every setback exposes what didn't work; use this information to adapt your approach. Embracing setbacks as learning opportunities cultivates a culture of continuous improvement. Acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses to make informed decisions. Concentrate on future actions instead of dwelling on mistakes.

8. Seek support and help
Opening up to someone you trust provides emotional support and helps alleviate stress. Listening to others’ experiences can help you find solutions to the issues at hand. Receiving validation from others can be affirming and reassuring. If feelings of falling behind persist and affect your well-being, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor. Professional support can provide valuable insights and coping strategies.

We all have our own timelines, and it's essential to resist the temptation to measure our worth against the achievements of others. The journey of self-discovery is not a linear one. It's a continuous process of learning, unlearning, and evolving. I've encountered detours that led me to unexpected opportunities and challenges that taught me resilience. These experiences have shaped my character, molding me into the person I am today. As I reflect on the turns my life has taken, I'm reminded that the destination is just one part of the journey; the real beauty lies in the exploration itself.