Continuing Education

A strong recurring theme embedded within the writings on the family of Pope Saint John Paul II is the idea that the family both requires and provides formation, specifically articulated as a form of education to its members.  Though this is most obvious in the education of the young, providing them with a stable environment in which they first encounter the world and the respect due to the human person based not on what they have but on what they are, i.e., unique subject created in the Image of God.  The formation of young couples seeking to enter into the Sacrament of Marriage is also easily apparent, since anyone who has previously entered into this Sacrament knows firsthand that the aspiring couple has no idea what they are getting themselves into.  The striking thing to me about the education of young couples preparing for marriage is that Pope Saint John Paul II specifically exhorts the Church to continue the couple’s education post matrimony, receiving pastoral care after the confection of the Sacrament to help “the couple discover and live their new vocation and mission (Familiaris Consortio, paragraph 69)”.  This is an element of education that is as absent from current Church programs as it is difficult to enforce.

Pastors within a Church have a duty to educate young aspiring married couples as to the nature and maturity required to enter into the Sacrament of Marriage, and to properly discern whether they are in fact eligible to be married within the context of the Church, making it clear that in the case of a couple who are not free to marry that “it is not the Church that is placing an obstacle in the way of the celebration (FC, paragraph 68)” but it is themselves who are their own stumbling block, being the ministers of the Sacrament themselves.  The formal education the diocese requires prior to allowing a marriage within the Church is easily enforced: there simply will be no marriage performed without meeting the education requirements prior.

Though pre-Cana education is important, no less important is the continuing education of the couple post-celebration, where the young couple “finding themselves in a context of new values and responsibilities, are more vulnerable, especially in the first years of marriage, to possible difficulties, such as those created by adaptation to life together or by the birth of children”.  The education and continuing formation of these couples is just as necessary after the confection of the Sacrament, but not enforceable as the pre-Cana is: there is no way to withhold the Sacrament as you can previously.  In general, the attitude towards newly married couples is to leave them alone to figure it out for themselves, without any sort of opportunity for them to “accept willingly, and make good use of, the discreet, tactful, and generous help offered by other couples that already have more experience of married and family life”.  This is the most important but often neglected aspect of welcoming married couples as a new family into the Church: the lack of understanding the need for the continuation of formation, both from the couple themselves and from the community which surrounds them.

The theme of education of the person is central to Pope Saint John Paul II, and the most important theme of his writings on the family is the education both of the family itself and of the members of the family by the family.  One aspect which is often overlooked is a willingness of the young couple and realization that they need continued help and formation in the creation and living out of their new vocation in their newly formed family, a willingness and understanding which is itself formed by the expectation from the community that they will seek further guidance.  By more communal involvement in the lives of newly married couples, the Church might provide these new families with the stability and guidance needed to start a long and permanent life together.