Yes and No

Let your "yes" be "yes" and your "no" be "no". It's taken me a long time to understand that and I still have moments of being wishy washy. I found it is easier though, to live by this rule. That way there are no regrets. A couple of my daughters have helped teach me, with sad consequences. For years I told them "yes" when I should have told them "no". I allowed them to be narcissistic and unaccountable for their demeanor and treatment of me, and others. Yes, then came the consequences of saying "no". Angry, spoiled and narcissistic and toxic to relationships. You surely pay the price for not teaching self discipline and goodness in all that you do and in the treatment of others. I blame my age and inexperience to a lot of it. Fresh out of high school and into the hot pan of LIFE. Without instruction. Without real knowledge of anything except on really how to love a baby. As I look back to those years, I can honestly say the characteristics that I see in my children were because "I" was a "child" myself raising them. Only theyre's, have turned into manipulation and unrest of soul and mind.

     Do overs are out of the question once they've grown into adults. So I must take some responsibility for their past behavior

     1 thing I do know, is that there is a breaking point. When that breaking point is met, you must stand strong. Let your "yes" be "yes" and your "no" be "no. No one is perfect. Surely not anyone who is 18 years old, starting out with marriage and following it up with 4 children, can realize the importance of yes and no. Those sweet faces that you helped create look at you with such purity and wonderment, it is hard to say "no" when you should.

     It turns into manipulation though, if you don't. I know in my heart they love me, but it seems buried very deep inside. I can't wait for the Spring to come forth again. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. Yes or no. Until until then, I will keep on loving them from a distance and pray their sweet souls will return back to God...and me....