MIRROR SHOCK

MIRROR SHOCK

Remember the morning you looked in the mirror and didn't recognize that old person staring back at?  It may have taken some time to adjust to that new reality slowly, oh so slowly, you wonder why people don't speak as clearly and conversations seem more stressful. Creaky knees and wobbly balance have slowed you down and you finally must face the fact that you're getting old way too soon! You may find that you're getting angry and frustrated with yourself as it becomes harder to do what you've always done with ease and speed.

Just a few years ago I could whiz through housework and laundry and still have energy for yard work and shopping. Today I planted 2 little potted plants and had to rest for a bit. I'm sitting here at 1:30 PM thinking about lunch.  It’s 80 steps to the kitchen and then I have to figure out what to have, make it clean up, eat it and walk 80 steps back to my chair in the sitting room. Too much effort!  I'll just eat some nuts and dried fruit. I did a little sewing and then fell asleep for an hour and a half. I don't know this person I've become! It’s easy to get angry at myself over all the things left undone then go down the slippery slope of depression bemoaning all I cannot do and how long it takes me to do the simplest task. I can't believe how much time I waste trying to find my glasses or my phone! That’s not all I forget! Word retrieval has slowed down. I used to be an articulate college professor with a wide-ranging vocabulary. Now it's “Honey where's that blue thing? you know the rectangle thing we put clothes in to travel?” If you don't laugh, you'll cry and that's no help at all!

We’ve all heard it said that getting old is for the birds. Too often were referred to as old birds or clucking hens. Remember that Jesus told us to look at the birds and how the Father provides for them. If he is so caring for the needs of noisy crows then how much deeper is his concern for his human children? I think he's especially attentive to the needs of those who are becoming frailer as they age. People are living longer than ever and the journey is hard, challenging and yet such a gift! Now at last we have the time to work on our relationship with God, correct our bad habits, make amends to those we have hurt, but most of all now there is time to pray, read scripture, spend time at adoration and attend daily mass. Old age is an opportunity to offer our suffering for souls and maybe even shorten our own days in purgatory.

Pope John Paul set the example for all of us he lived for years in great pain but not did not dwell on it. He was not a complainer and did not draw attention to himself. Yet there are times when we have to practice real humility and put aside our vanity and use that walking cane, ask for help when we need it or wear those ugly orthotic shoes. These are the years to build virtue that we didn’t take time for in our youth.

Once we were competent in our professional field and carried responsibilities for the welfare of others, but now people talk down to us calling us” sweetie” or “honey” in a condescending voice.  You know, the tone you'd use with a little child who doesn't understand anything.  Just because my joints hurt doesn't mean I have dementia! Please speak to me as an adult and use my name. There are times we have to stand up for ourselves with both our family and with professionals but of course with the same respectful voice we would like to have directed at us. That's where we have to practice true humility.

 These are the years of true surrender to God's will, a time to thank him for the thousand opportunities experienced daily to share in his pain through those humiliating moments, and the loss of freedom and mobility. We know we are in the last quarter of our lives and with the wisdom of our engaging gray hairs we can handle it better than we did in the arrogance of our youth. At 25 I knew it all!  At 80 I realize how much more there is to know. Aging is not so much lost youth but a stage of opportunity and strength and growth. God made a promise to the aged in Isaiah 46:4…..

“Even to your old age I am the same,

 Even when your hair is Gray, I will bear you,

And I will carry you to safety.”