How About A Nice Roman Catholic Theocracy?

It seems every day the popular culture gets more disgusting. There is no manner of depravity it doesn't glorify. Must we continue to tolerate it?

From sexualization of children, to the sanctification on our college campuses of the murder of innocents by Hamas, to the destruction of the family, New York, Hollywood, and DC wallow in it and do everything they can to spread their social diseases to the rest of America. So, what to do? How about a nice new Roman Catholic theocracy?

Let's say the 1588 Armada was successful and the Dons restored Catholicism to England. Or Wolfe loses at Quebec and England gets pushed out of Canada and then the colonies. Looking at it that way, our scenario of Roman Catholic America doesn't seem completely out of the realm of possibilities, eh?

Granted, there may be a few spoil sports who get their knickers in a twist over our proposed societal reforms. However, the same people are just charmed out of their socks by the Iranian theocracy. Ergo, goose and gander and all that.

I'm talking Franco-lite. Though yes, we'll get our civil liberties mussed a tad. But think of the collateral fun of making all those secular leftist nightmares come true. 

They think they're getting books banned now? They're not. But when we take over, no library will be allowed to carry anything but Waugh, Belloc, and Chesterton. And that's the kids section. 

Movies? Reruns of Bells of St. Mary's and Going My Way in a continuous 24/7 loop. Music? The Vienna Boys Choir will do nicely thank you, as they sweep every category of the Grammys every year onto eternity. Oh, I'm kidding am I? Perhaps, but I'm also just getting started, in an obviously Swiftian mode.

Fashion and culture will revert back to about 1962, amusing enough Catholic president then, though counter reformation-like excess will be secretly encouraged. Douai-Rheims Bible loyalty oaths will be administered for any government position, with exceptions made for Jews, thus leaving out...well...ahem...cough...you know, those schismatics of that pesky door nailing in Wittemberg.

And when you think about it, we're only substituting one theocracy for another. For secular humanism is a religion with the state as its god and a nasty intolerance, worthy of Torquemada and his boys, of any other faith, especially any faith that does not exalt man above all.

Would we trade the cesspool culture of today for an adult reverent culture and an established church? Outside the fever swamps of certain Protestant sects, probably not. Most of the Founders, who were not exactly cradle Catholics, would scarcely be amused if we did. For as men of The Enlightenment, Roman Catholicism was not at the top of their hit parade, or at least not the 18th century variant of it.

So, our daydreams of the Archbishop of Baltimore being akin to the Archbishop of Canterbury will remain unfulfilled. Quel domage. The fun would have been rampant. No doubt it would also turn out very short-lived but, given the tedious conformity of modern society, gloriously avant garde. In the papal sense, naturellement.