How do I Hate Me!!

 Let me count the ways!---In each of us is a split personality. Part of us loves the Lord Jesus Christ and wants to live our lives for Him. To know Him, to love Him and try daily to serve Him.

 The other part of us though is HUMAN!! That part is weak, and sins daily. Oh yes we do. That is the part we hate. We hate this fact and get very angry too over that human nature. Why do we do what we do?  We love God and to do wrong.  Why??
 WE just want to be loved, accepted and to know I AM OKAY. That is why we are so easily angered ---when we feel unloved  and rejected by others.
 Trouble is, from the moment of conception---the 'sins' of Adam were passed down into our inner spirit as we were formed in the womb. That baby was touched by anger, hate, fear, and many other feelings. They came into the world, wanting to know love, to be loved and to return that love.

 What happens though, when the child continues to receive the anger and disgust from the parent that the parent feels toward their own inner being?
 Unresolved emotional disgust or the 'sins' of Adam continue to grow from the seeds sewn, planted and taking root in the lives of all that 'SIN' comes in contact with.
 The child then grows and even when young, unable to find "love and acceptance, understanding and acknowledgement of their true worth"---they seek love in all the wrong places. 

 First, looking for a "mom or dad" who will love them, they are attractive to the sex that they hope to find that long awaited love with.  Then, they start to associate with others who can relate to their deep seated need for acceptance--and the wrong type of family or gang is joined.  This type of 'longing to loved behavior is seen everywhere in our society.
   From this deep longing for love, if not taught by the parents in the way the 'child' should grow--comes into the lives of many weak humans----- another form of god or an addiction. Alcohol, drugs, technical gaming or addiction to the screen, thrill seeking, sexual perversion, such as molestation (passed down behavior that was taught by another)
   Oh how we hate that part of our being that is so weak and disgusting. Unless we come to know the only "way" to true healthy living and thinking--we end up literally dead to the world---and only because we did not know "LOVE or the God who created us." We did not know just what a very special, unique, one of a kind awesome person due to the failure to be nurtured and raised in Love.
   Statistics researched---in 2023--alcohol related deaths----58,701-- people seeking comfort or mask the inner pain lost their life or took another's life. Drug overdoses last year 413,852.
   Wait, an even worse addiction is comfort food!! Obesity claimed 3.5 million people in the past year! 
   Gaming in technology has increased mental health problems in young adults and depression as they fail to have a purpose in life and then other addictions follow.
   We must understand why we hate our weak human self!! Help must be sought, support groups, so we find out WHY we are so filled with hate of self. A understanding priest and confession is essential for we who love God.
   For those who do believe in God's mercy and love, seek Him and by the grace given, come to forgive ourselves, and love as Jesus loved. For when we live in love--hate cannot abide within: only God our Savior and Lord. He is all merciful, and understanding, forgiving for God     know our whole story from the moment of conception--and why we are so angry and full of hate at times.
In knowing why there is hate of self--this understanding is a gift! In this knowledge, we are given understanding, compassion and the ability to live in God's loving forgiving nature. Forgiving ourselves, and others, and God too, for the sins of Adam were allowed to be a part of our world. 
Each of us is an unique, one of a kind, very special, awesome human --a Child of God--created by God to know Him and to love Him and be LOVED by God. Come back to Him, and know He understands you totally and for that reason is all merciful and forgiving. Please stop hating yourself or your weak human nature. 

This prayer of Padre Pio's will help you know you are never walk alone. 

https://www.ourcatholicprayers.com/padre-pio-after-communion.html