Dry as the desert

My soul goes through times of barrenness. It longs for the quenching of cool water from the Spring of Heaven. No matter how many times I beg our Lord to answer me, I feel great weight in maintaining the richness of His mercy. I fall and then get back up again only to rise and fall again. My prayers and petitions feel empty. Dry.. Like a beggar pleading on the corner with everyone passing by. I know my Lord is watching and I arise, without patience, for HIM to hear my cry. I want Him to hear me now....and I end up walking away from the great lesson He's trying to teach me. I have too much pride. I must be patient as He molds me. The burdens get heavier along with the dryness of my prayers.

     After sometime, the lesson He was trying to teach me becomes a light bulb that is finally turned on and I feel the greatness of His Holy Grace.

     But woe to the barren desert of my thoughts and actions. Only to be driven to pleading with our God again for relief. As I walk along with trudging feet and unquenching thirst, I finally come to the Oasis that is His Mercy.....

     I strive not for perfection of this world but the perfection of Heaven. The real world. Sometimes I feel like my shoes are filled with concrete and my eyes are blinded, and then, after a while, the sweet feeling that enriches my soul is filled, and fills my whole body. Making my feet light and the scales from my eyes to fall off and I am once again ready to defeat my myself, and surrender. Relying only in the Good Shepherd who came to find His lost sheep.

     I must strive to remember that when my mouth is parched with the dryness of honor and glory and thankfulness to my God and that it is felt, that it is time to surrender to the waters of His Divine Providence.