REHASHING THE PAST

It is impossible to turn back the hands of time to reverse our words or actions. All we can do is ask for forgiveness and move forward, resolving to do better. That's all well and good; however, how often do we receive forgiveness from God and others yet still wallow in guilt by rehashing the transgressions in our minds repeatedly? Why is it so easy to give forgiveness than to accept it? 

Being an overachiever in the mistake department, I struggled with accepting forgiveness for many years. Why? Because I didn't deserve it. No matter how hard I tried to move on, I continued to browbeat myself relentlessly. 

I was a raging alcoholic.  I evicted God from my life.  I hurt everyone I loved and lost the respect of family, friends, and co-workers.  I was consumed in shame and guilt, knowing how I devalued myself with inappropriate behavior.  The coup de grâce was aborting two precious babies, which I believed to be the ultimate unpardonable sin. Through rehab, an after-abortion healing program, and a renewed relationship with God, my faith grew leaps and bounds, relationships improved, and I could finally look in the mirror without disgust and self-loathing.

Whenever you are tempted to dwell on past transgressions, you might try this little mind game ... it worked for me. Close your eyes and picture Satan with a DVD of your failings. He's cackling and sneering while continually hitting the replay button … a malicious attempt to imprison you in guilt and remorse, separating you from loved ones and distancing yourself from God. Focus on that image and say out loud, "You're playing a blank disk, Satan ... God has already hit the delete button."

Then I declared my sin to you; my guilt I did not hide.I said, “I confess my transgression to the LORD,” and you took away the guilt of my sin.

                                                                              (Psalm 32:5)