Why I Veil

There are several articles on this platform that address the Theology behind veiling. If you’re interested in veiling or just want to know what Scripture or the Church says, I’d suggest you search “veiling” and give them a read.

This is my story. I’m pleased that it doesn’t seem to go against any of the Theology but, just so you know, I didn’t go into any intensive study. I felt called, I discerned, spoke to my husband and pastor, and I did it. As Catholic adults this is definitely a “thing” – you can discern what is correct in your state of life and, as long as it doesn’t conflict with Church teaching, go for it. I’m starting with that because there seems to be a growing trend that we need to have a majority of friends (or online strangers) agree with us before we do something. That’s never been the case in my experience. Some of the most rewarding things the Holy Spirit has called me to have been the most trying when dealing with other people. More to offer up I suppose!

So, like all things now, it began with Covid. Having the Churches shut was not a burden at first – my youngest made it his job to go to Mass-online and select the nation we would worship in that day. We went to Australia and Africa and even the Isle of Man. What a wonderful lesson for the kids – even if it looks or sounds different, the Mass is the Mass, everywhere in the world.

Then the months passed and it got difficult. More than difficult, it was painful. I remember Corpus Christi – instead of a procession, our priests stood outside the churches with the Monstrance and blessed us as we drove by. I cried when we were so close to Jesus but, still, unable to partake in the Eucharist. God did something to my heart just then. My whole being yearned for Him. Finally, after 50+ years, I feel like I appreciated Jesus in the Eucharist in a whole new way.

Even now, several years later, I remember that Corpus Christi. I can’t say I always have the same feeling, at every Mass, at every Adoration, that I had then. However, I have made a physical change that helps me remember where I am and what’s in front of me. I have chosen to wear a veil.

This is where the discernment process came in. We know families who began attending the Traditional Latin Mass during Covid and the women there, or most anyway, veil at Mass. In my Novus Ordo church, however, I’ve only seen a few women, mostly 10-20 years older than me, wearing one. So, what do I do? As I mentioned previously, I discerned, I spoke to my husband and my priest. I tried to talk myself out of it but the feeling wouldn’t pass. So, I jumped in.

I have heard everything I can imagine about this issue from “it’s self-centered and attention-seeking” to “that’s not proper in a Novus Ordo Mass” to “it’s lovely” to crickets. So, whatever you’re thinking, I’ve probably processed it over the last few years and I’ve come to a few conclusions.

Perhaps it’s distracting but, honestly, there are a lot of distractions at Mass. Everything from a crying baby, a man in a baseball cap, an immodest dress, to someone playing a game on their phone. I used to be distracted easily at Mass (and often still struggle). Now, when I’m in that place, I just bring myself back and pray for the grace to concentrate. As far as my perspective with veiling and distraction, it’s been so helpful. It’s a little like a blinder that you put on a horse. Your peripheral vision is gone and you can only look one way – forward towards the altar: exactly where my eyes should be.

As far as the self-centered/attention-seeking thing…I know most of you don’t know me but I’m one of those brides who was uncomfortable with all the pictures on my wedding day. If I can blend into the background and concentrate on Mass, I’m at my happiest. If anything, choosing to follow the call I have to veil has been a humbling experience. I realize there are some people who might look at me and think something just because there is a piece of lace on my head. It seems to happen on occasion, or I could just be paranoid, when a priest is lecturing on moving too far to the conservative side of the aisle, they are look right at me. Yes, I’m the one with the veil. No, I’m not that one. Promise. If I forget my veil, I say an extra prayer for grace to concentrate and be present. You will never see me with a Kleenex on my head.

I have chosen to veil because it helps me remember that I’m going to a special place; a place with something so precious that it’s good for us to act and look differently. We already expect our family to dress up when we attend Mass and a veil is just my little bit extra. If wearing a veil gives me an opportunity to practice my humility or charity in dealing with those around me, all the better. If it’s distracting to you, I apologize for your distraction. Ultimately, I hope that after reading this, you might lead with charity when you see someone doing something or wearing something that seems strange to you. Specifically with regard to veiling, you’re always free to ask. I welcome the chance to help people understand the “why” of it.