Why So Angry--Bride?

It is spring and Love is in the air, and the weddings are planned and springing up everywhere. I had the strangest dream on waking this morning---but---strange ones are really very meaningful ones when you talk them out with God.

The dream: I am getting married again; my mother is there in the dream, who is a ‘saint’ in heaven. I am thinking about the dress needing to be finished. I remember more friends that need to be called to invite them to come – for the wedding will be that night!! Then I turn to Mom and ask about the wedding cake. “Where is the wedding cake?”

She shows me a box with pieces of decorated sheet cake, left overs from something else and said to me, “I thought we could make do with this cake.” I am furious—‘What I have no wedding cake?” Ranting and very upset about the lack of a real wedding cake----I wake up.

What was that all about? 1.) Preparing for marriage, but very unprepared, dress, invitations, cake nothing really ready for a wedding to be that night. 2.) Mom is messenger from heaven—and she taught me always to “make do with what you have.” 3.) How did this make me feel, angry over making do and not having the best? (These are the things in a dream you look at, facts, people there, and what feelings come with the dream.)

In my life right now, as I age, as my husband ages---we are dealing with disappointments and daily struggles of life. Just as many of you are doing that are reading this. Marriage does not get easier as we age, for there are spouses that become more child than adult, and children also become ‘too adult’ and bring deep sadness in our hearts. So, what was God trying to communicate to me through this dream?

Seeking God’s Wisdom in His Word, I think of Scriptures associated with the Bridegroom, wedding banquet and the connection to daily life. The one that speaks strongly is the Scripture about the bridesmaids running out of oil in their lamps and failing to be present when the Bridegroom comes. If there is no oil of gladness in my heart as I live my life---my lamp is not brightly shining and needs to be refilled. Also, because I am busy running around and seeking other things to make me happy or glad---I fail to be present or even aware that the Bridegroom is already here. So my prayers of late had been, “God please bless me with joy and gladness and help me to see the Bridegroom in my husband.”

God through the dream is telling me that I will miss seeing the Jesus in my husband if my heart is filled with anger, resentment over making do, and failing to see what is truly priceless gifts in my life. (In the dream, the cake pieces were surrounded with many colorful gift wrap papers bunched up, standing up to make the cake look festive.) When my heart is fixed on finances, busy work, worldly ways and material things---I fail to see the gift, the priceless treasure, the miracle right there before me.

The dress: The wedding feast Scripture talks of coming to the feast wearing the right garment (Garments of praise is also mentioned elsewhere in the Bible. “You have given me a garment of praise instead of mourning.” There is also the Scripture reading about the need to put on the full armor of God.) In the dream I was not even dressed, and the dress not even finished as I was thinking how to make the bodice or ‘breast plate.’ Breast plate stands for uprightness or choosing to walk in God’s ways. So evidently, I need to work on covering myself with that whole armor of God, the helmet of salvation, the belt or truth, the righteousness of God, the sword or His Word, and zeal to walk in His shoes and my husband’s too: all the while holding up that shield of faith that proclaims I am His Bride. “Get back all you other labels.” When I am able to do this then that joy will come that I long for. I will once more be glad and happy as a bride on her wedding day, beaming with radiance as I look longingly at the Bridegroom before me. We have to look with --eyes of faith, and see our Bridegroom in not only our spouses, but all who come into our life—for they our gifts—our PRESENT—which is a gift from God in itself.

Many years ago after leaving church, dealing with a heavy problem, I saw a sign entitled “My Name is the I Am.

“You will not find me in the past with all its regrets, hurts, and failures. My Name is not the I Was.

You will not find me in the future in your fears, worries, anxiety and doubts—My Name is not the I Will be.

You will only find me in the "PRESENT" where I am with you and take care of your needs whatever they may be. My Name is the I am.”

“I Am with you, I come as soon as you look, with your lamp lit with faith and love---see the Bridegroom before you, dear Bride of Christ.”