How to Pray When You Screw Up

We all mess up sometimes – it’s part of being human. We say things we shouldn’t. We do what we know is wrong; or perhaps, we fail to do what we know is right. Fortunately, we Catholics have the Sacrament of Reconciliation, where we can tell God how we messed up, that we’re sorry and will try not to do it again, and receive His forgiveness.

But how do you handle those complex entanglements that fall outside the bounds of the confessional? What do you do for those times, when through no fault of your own – or possibly through something that started as your own fault and then mushroomed from there – your relationships, your personal life or your professional career just seems completely entangled in a knotted mess?

That’s when we can turn to Mary, Untier of Knots.

The story behind this comforting prayer traces its roots to Saint Irenaeus (a Bishop of Lyon who was martyred in the year 202). Drawing from the parallel that Saint Paul made between Adam and Christ (1 Corinthians 15:22), Saint Irenaeus compared Eve and Mary in this way in his work, Against Heresies: “Eve, by her disobedience, tied the knot of disgrace for the human race; whereas Mary, by her obedience, undid it.”

The modern devotion centers around a striking Baroque painting created byJohann Georg Melchior Schmidtner in 1700,calledMary Undoer of Knots. The painting was commissioned after a marital dispute was resolved by a local Jesuit priest after he asked the Blessed Virgin to untie the knots that hampered the relationship. A potentially scandalous and devastating divorce was thus avoided. The grandson of the couple in question, who also happened to be a priest, commissioned the painting to commemorate the event. Today, the painting remains in the Church of St. Peter in Perlack, Germany.

Present day devotion to Mary as the Untier of our Knots has spread largely thanks to Pope Francis. When he was still Fr. Jorge Mario Bergoglio, SJ, he saw the original painting while studying in Germany. He returned home to Argentina with a postcard of the image and a desire to spread the devotion, which he did in the 1980s.

This lovely prayer has been attributed to then Cardinal Bergoglio:

Holy Mary, full of God's presence during the days of your life, you accepted with full humility the Father's will, and the Devil was never able to tie you around with his confusion. Once with your son, you interceded for our difficulties, and, full of kindness and patience, you gave us [an] example of how to untie the knots of our life. And by remaining forever Our Mother, you put in order, and make more clear, the ties that link us to the Lord. Holy Mother, Mother of God, and our Mother, to you, who untie with motherly heart the knots of our life, we pray to you to receive in your hands (the name of person), and to free him/her of the knots and confusion with which our enemy attacks. Through your grace, your intercession, and your example, deliver us from all evil, Our Lady, and untie the knots that prevent us from being united with God, so that we, free from sin and error, may find Him in all things, may have our hearts placed in Him, and may serve Him always in our brothers and sisters. Amen

A more concise version often found printed on prayer cards is also called the prayer of Pope Francis and reads:

Through your grace,
your intercession,
and your example,
deliver us from all evil,
Our Lady, and untie
the knots that
prevent us from being
united with God,
so that we, free
from sin and error,
may find him in all things
may have our hearts
placed in him
and may serve him always
in our brothers and sisters.

There is a beautiful series of Novena prayers that can be found online at Pray More Novenas. There are other variations of the prayers for special circumstances posted on my blog at Counter The Culture. No matter which version you choose, may these prayers motivate you to untie the tangles in your own life.