Criticize or Rejoice?

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15

I was reading an article about Roger Scruton whom I had first come to admire through his little book Beauty. In explaining Scruton’s thought, the author states, “That love for what gives us life is what generates patriotism, respect for law, loyalty to leaders, and a willing deference to privilege that ‘need not be craven or submissive.’”¹ That last part caught my attention: deference to privilege that isn’t craven or submissive (obsequious also comes to mind). What does that mean? How do we act that out in daily life? It reminded me of St. Paul. In the middle of his instruction on Christian living (Rm 12:9–21), he tells us to “rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Rm 12:15). Instead of envying the rich or powerful or privileged, we should be celebrating with them. Our being able and willing to rejoice with and suffer with others fosters holiness and community. Yet today it seems we tend to criticize instead of rejoice or sympathize.

Here are two examples. I was eating Asian takeout with some friends. I mentioned that I was really enjoying the egg drop soup, especially with the corn in it. One person with me said that I sounded arrogant and condescending, especially since I knew the person didn’t like corn in egg drop soup. I was floored, I hadn’t remembered the person’s dislike and had communicated my enjoyment because we had ordered from a new restaurant and I was evaluating the food. Think of how different the conversation could have been if the person had rejoiced with me instead.

In a second example, Prince Harry received the Pat Tillman Award for Service for his work with veterans in sports.² ESPN thought the choice of recipient was justified but some objected saying that there were others more worthy to receive the award, and a petition was circulated protesting the choice.³ What I noticed was that some were not able to rejoice with him. Shouldn’t we support people in the good they have done even if we disagree with other things they have done?

Holiness

It seems to be easier these days to celebrate over someone’s misfortune when something goes wrong than to rejoice with a person when something goes right. Instead of rejoicing we complain that the person didn’t deserve the award or the happiness or the success. What comes to mind are envy, jealousy, self-pity, selfishness, none of which are virtues. Look to the person’s joy and celebrate with him or her. If the person is truly undeserving or rubbing his or her good fortune in your face, then remember, kindness to your enemies is like heaping burning coals on their head (Rm 12:20). On the other hand, if the person is sincere then you have made both of your days better for sharing in his or her joy. Either way you have grown in virtues, such as patience, kindness, and generosity, and are one step closer to being the best you and to holiness.

Community

Rejoicing and suffering with others also tends to unite us. In light of recent events, particularly the assassination attempt on Pres. Trump, there is a call to be united as Americans.⁴ Christians can relate to this; the Bible is full of images and stories of community and how to be united as a community. The mainstream media’s odd response downplaying events runs in the face of a Christian response.⁵ St. Paul reminds us, “if one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Cor 12:26). And so, one way to foster unity is to suffer with each other and rejoice with each other.

By following St. Paul’s instruction, we will grow individually in the virtues and holiness and become more united as a Christian community and as fellow citizens of these United States.

Notes

¹ Peter Augustine Lawler, “The Functional Anthropologist, Roger Scruton,” Law & Liberty, December 22, 2015, https://lawliberty.org/the-functional-anthropologist-roger-scruton/.

² Garrett Cowan, “ESPN Reveals Special Honorees for The 2024 ESPYS,” ESPN, June 2024, https://espnpressroom.com/us/press-releases/2024/06/espn-reveals-special-honorees-for-the-2024-espys-presented-by-capital-one-airing-july-11-at-8-p-m-et-pt-on-abc/.

³ Caroline Graham, “Backlash Grows after Prince Harry Wins Award Set Up to Honour War Hero,” Daily Mail (UK), June 29, 2024, https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13584099/Prince-Harry-award-honour-war-hero.html.

⁴ Amy Lu, “Bipartisan Calls for Unity and Peace Intensify Following Trump Assassination Attempt,” KCRA 3, July 15, 2024, https://www.kcra.com/article/bipartisan-calls-unity-peace-intensify-trump-assassination-attempt/61595130.

⁵ DogeDesigner, X, July 14, 2024, https://x.com/cb_doge/status/1812580439061926324?t=6X1p4npTv1OLUb9TacMVYw&s=09.