The Nones: Noticed, Named & Known

This work is the continuation of my ongoing series examining the Nones, the young people that choose to leave the church. We have already discussed different groups of disaffiliates and why those groups have chosen to leave the faith. Here, we will examine a concerning trend downwards in institutional trust (not just religious institutions) and how inviting a person to feel like they belong to and in that institution trends towards increase in faith. 

It warrants mentioning at the outset that religious participation does not necessarily mean that the person feels like they belong in that institution, nor that they adhere to the tenants of the faith. Remember your psychology or statistics classes: correlation does not necessarily imply causation. Participation in religious education does not mean they are faith filled, and at the same time a young person can have faith, but be unable or unwilling to participate in religious settings because they feel alienated or like they do not belong.

Having said that, feeling like they belong can allow these young people to interact at greater depth with their local representatives of those institutions, in our case the Church. Recall the damaged category of disaffiliate. This young person cannot differentiate between the abuses imparted on them by the representative of the Church, and so abandon ship entirely. Now flip the story to the other side. With a (or many) safe, listening, knowledgeable representative for the Church, the young person can dip his toe in the waters of faith, with the accompanist there to walk with him. What’s that old phrase? Trust is gained in spoonfuls but lost by the bucket. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s get into belonging, and the belongingness process.

This insight comes from Springtide Research Institute’s leaflet sized, but wildly important for any evangelist accompanying someone in the Church, Belonging: Reconnecting America’s Loneliest Generation. While previously I had praised Saint Mary’s Press’ use of qualitative vs quantitative research, here the numbers cannot be misinterpreted. The number of trusted adults in a young person’s life vastly improves their mental health, and makes them feel like they belong in the institution the trusted adult represents.

This is the summarized form of the graph represented on pages 47-48 of Belonging. Percentages of young people who agree with each statement.

These socially isolated young people do not find meaning and belonging in their institutions, be they religious or secular. Consider this recreation of Gallup’s poll on confidence in institutions. These percentages represent the population of those adults who had “a great deal” or “quite a lot” of trust in these institutions. 

So the Church is not alone in it’s loss of authority among young people, but the individual evangelist can build that relational authority, a topic we will cover in next week’s article. For now, we will discuss the process by which a person feels like they belong in a given institution. “We know that young people initially enter relationships, groups, clubs, and organizations because of certain commonalities - shared interests, values, beliefs, practices, vocations, or professions. But they stay in those relationships when they feel like they belong” (Belonging p. 62). So we can turn the tide of the exodus of Nones by inviting them to feel like they belong. 

The process towards feeling like one belongs tends to take three steps: feeling noticed, named, and known. 

Being noticed is the initial step in the belongingness process. The representative for the institution - the priest, minister, catechist, or someone else - sees the disaffiliating person. A wave, a hello, a handshake. This experience of being picked out of the crowd can subconsciously identify the person with the group. When they can fade into the crowd without being remembered, it is that much easier to drift away. The simple act of noticing the person is sufficient for building the foundation to deeper that relationship.

Naming the person is the next step in the process. Consider what a name is, it is your primary means of identification . It differentiates you from other faces in the crowd. Some even use different names in different settings. Jonathan might be for use in professional settings, but John for personal and familial. Dr. Jonathan Doe vs. Johnny, as another example. Just think in your own life, the difference in relationship between your parish usher, and the greeter at Walmart. The usher who knows your name, asks about your children, your career, makes you feel like you belong. The greeter at Walmart is warm and kind, welcoming even, but does not make you feel at home.

The final step, being known. Being known is the final step in the belongingness process, but is in fact a process all its own. Truly being known requires acceptance on the part of the evangelist, and openness on the part of the young person. This allows the young person to divulge the important parts of their life, their hopes, fears, secrets even. 

Being known might be the final step in the process towards belonging, but being the type of person that can invite another to that relationship requires relational authority, so to leave you on a cliffhanger, this will be the topic of our next article. 

Works Cited

Springtide Research Institute. Belonging: Reconnecting America’s Loneliest Generation. Springtide Research Institute. Winona, Minnesota. 2021.