A Work In Progress

I always tell my students that the biggest challenge in majoring in and studying music is that it’s impossible to say you’ve ever arrived at your best. You can say “I’m ready for this test” or “I’m satisfied with this paper”… but there’s probably never going to be a day when you’ve practiced enough or perfected your instrument consistently through all your repertoire. There is always improvement to made – always a way that you can continue to self analyze. And if you have a fantastic day and you feel like you’re nearing perfection, the next day will be a new battle. And if you take some time off from your instrument, you won’t pick up where you left off. Your skills will begin to atrophy in the absence of adequate rehearsal. It’s a wonderful field to pursue, but it is not for the faint of heart.

And so it is for motherhood too. Love is like that. The more we flex that muscle of unconditional love, the stronger it gets. When we become mothers it is all so overwhelming (even when you feel adequately prepared as I did   God must have been amused at my perspective). But we take it step by step. We think we know the answers, the right things to do, the best way to discipline and the best way to nurture their heart and mind. And with each child in each stage we start to think we’ve got it down… we figure out the sleeping… or the good foods they like… or the discipline that works – until they change or the next child is nothing like the first.

It’s only when we realize that God made these little people, in all their individuality, specifically for us that we see clearly that the goal is to roll with who God made them to be, not to have it all figured out. To love them well and to teach them well. He made them specifically for us, to sanctify us and to make us grow closer to Him every day.

We won’t get it right all the time – like studying an instrument, we’ll never be perfect, we have to keep practicing. Maybe we yelled too much that day, or kept our cool but didn’t really get the message across. Maybe they watched too much tv, or ate frozen pizza 3 days in a row because we were just too done to make a nutritious meal. Maybe we can’t shake the worry we carry and struggle surrendering them to God’s perfect will.

But their love for us remains a beautiful reflection of His perfect love. They are created perfectly unique to and for us. And our job remains constant. To love them fiercely, to teach them to pray and to know the love of God and the mercy of Jesus. To teach them to be kind and to work hard. And to help them recognize what is true, beautiful and good so that they may seek those things. And ultimately, to get them to heaven.