The Storms of Life

Well, it had been quite some time since a true test of strength had been given to me from God. 

     It finally happened last week when a terrible storm shook our city and neighborhoods with the power of God's strength. Ravaging homes and destroying and uprooting 100-year-old trees, causing havoc with downed power lines and taking out electricity , in 100° weather. 90 mile an hour winds showed no mercy to those out in it. Just when we needed the coolness of the air conditioner and the light in our homes to find our way around. Our phones for emergencies. 

     The first day was in expectancy for everything to be fixed soon. But by the second day, the overwhelming heat and darkness of the night was unbearable. I kept thinking to myself, "be patient, don't be a wimp". "there are many out there that are dealing with far worse! "

     But the more tired I became with lack of sleep and the thought of all that food in my refrigerator and freezer spoiling, I became irritable and less surrendering. When the storm first hit, I was on the phone with my oldest daughter, Loretta., with my little granddaughter, Celeste, who was in the backseat of the car. Our sweet little angel was crying loud enough for me to hear her in the background. I was on speakerphone and I said to her, " baby, don't be afraid! Jesus is with you! just say a prayer and you will be all right!".  Immediately I hear that precious Angels voice cry out, "I did! But He's NOT listening! " Oh how I wanted to crawl through that phone and just hold her! I said, " oh my love, He IS listening! ". Feeling helpless in my attempts to help calm her down I heard in my daughter's voice, the serene pitch of a good mother while she was leading them both to safety. Calming and reassuring in such a beautiful motherly voice. At that moment I was so proud of her. They made it home safely finally, through the 90 mile an hour winds and rain, but I couldn't quit thinking about our Celeste. 

     The next day, my other daughter and I got in the car and drove around long enough for our phones to charge. Seeing what looked like a war zone,  everywhere, it was a terrible image for our eyes. Trees fallen on houses and cars, debris everywhere, signs knocked down. Street lights not working with the people going for different ways trying to be patient as everyone takes their turn. I remember thinking, " Oh those poor people have it worse than us!". 

     I tried praying, but my mind and eyes could not quit spinning. I just wanted everything to be the same as it was before the storm. I couldn't shake that feeling that God was teaching or at least trying to teach me something and I was to learn from all of this, but I couldn't really understand what it was He was trying to tell me. That's frustrating. After a while, I felt like Celeste, thinking I'm praying, but He's not listening. My weary eyes, the heat, the aftermath was a lot for my weak soul to take. In my frustration of realizing that I am not so strong as I proclaim to be, I thought,  " Help me. surrender to the will of God!",  But still wavering..... on the solution being that the electricity would be turned on soon. 

     In the meantime realizing how horribly dependent we are on technology and comfort, thinking about the struggling countries of people of war helped me in my patience to withstand this very small trial of mine. I'm ashamed of myself and I need to work hard  in acceptance of anything that may happen in my life that isn't easy. 

     Needless to say, the lights came back on and the lost sleep was restored and thanking God with all of my heart, I realized the great lesson of true surrender to Him who IS listening.....and watching.

     God forgive this humble servant of yours and stay with me. Teach me, strengthen me. Help me to always remember that in the dark times, your bright light must shine within me and illuminate my soul. Help me to know that the only true comfort is lying in your Blessed arms and may I be comforted in the knowledge that you are my Papa, and that nothing will be so overwhelming that you can't fix it. I love you.