On Christian Friendship

I’m so grateful for friends. 

New friends, old friends, friends I see regularly, and friends that hold a place in my heart through years of separation. Friends who text out of the blue to check in and friends who I may run into by chance. Friends with whom I can talk to after years of silence and it feels like we’ve never missed a beat and friends that I’m just getting to know. There is no doubt, friends are a great blessing.

As Christians, we are unique in that we know a Savior who loved us enough to come to us. He is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the end – He is omnipotent and omnipresent, and yet He is also our friend. He entered fully into the human experience because He desires to know us intimately.

At times, it can be difficult to relate to Christ incarnate, to enter into a relationship with someone fully human, but also fully divine – to embrace the love that brought our Savior from the Manger to the Cross. We know that Jesus is our friend, but “Oh, what a friend we have in Jesus,” can be a hard chorus when we remember the magnitude of that friendship and the price He paid for it. There is a great mystery in the juxtaposition of Jesus as Lord and Jesus as our friend.

It feels hard to level up to a friend with such an infinite capacity to love. What happens when we fall short? What happens when we fail to love him back? Because we will and we do – But Jesus continues to love us and continues to choose us. He continues to be our friend,

One thing that we know about the life of Christ is that He had friends. The Gospels are full of stories of Jesus and His friends and give us a perfect example of Christian friendship. Jesus chose to surround himself with imperfect people – and He showed us how to love by actually doing it.

One of those friends would betray Him, and another would deny Him but He still chose friendship. Jesus dealt with misunderstandings, conflicting personalities, egos and limitations – no doubt there was frustration – but they were His friends and vitally important to His mission, and He loved them through it all.

Scripture hold’s friendship in high esteem. Romans 12:10 tells us, 

“Love one another with brotherly affection, anticipate one another in showing honor.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, 

“Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, as indeed you do.”

There are dozens of references in scripture to friendship. Not only in how we treat each other, but also regarding the friendship Jesus offers to us. In John 15:15, Jesus says, 

“I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father.”

Surely, friendship looks different in various seasons of life. My life has been filled with beautiful friendships. In the last few years, I have found myself particularly grateful for the friendships God has placed in my life for this season. The kind of friends who have cared for us as we welcomed new babies and who picked me up from the depths of grief at the loss of a parent. The kind of friends who don’t hesitate to grab my kids from school because I’m running behind and the people that I can vent about the hot mess of a morning we had. The people to whom I can admit when I’ve lost my cool over a frivolous event and the people who I can laugh with til our stomachs hurt over a glass of wine. The people who show up to celebrate the great days, when distance keeps family away and the people who I can ask to pray – for the big things and the little things.

There are seasons where friendship is plentiful, and seasons where it’s barren. Maybe you’ve moved to a new place or you’re experiencing a life stage that separates you from good friends. Don’t despair, God values friendship and your desire is good. Pray for Christian friendship – He will provide, He always does in His time. 

Let us also offer a prayer of thanksgiving for the good friends we already have. Being a good friend takes practice and experience, and every relationship can lead and prepare you for the next.