A New Mission

In a Catholic book I read recently, the author commiserates with other moms about the horrors of bedtime, the stress of all the shouting and yelling in a family, and the soul-crushing agony of laundry that never ends.  This depressing book was, ironically, intended to be encouraging.  The goal was to assure moms that with enough practice, it is possible to avoid wanting to strangle your kids ten times a day.  I guess that is technically a pro-life message.

It seems some Catholics have believed the secular message that children are a burden.  And that is far from the truth.  The vocation of family life is an incredible source of joy and laughter.  We need to smile more to show the world that any sacrifices are beyond worth it.  Most of the time, sacrifices don’t even feel like sacrifices.  Maybe I can’t afford a trip to Alaska because my kid needs braces.  Alaska is cold.  Maybe I have to walk at a snail’s pace so my two-year-old can keep up.  I’d miss much if I was rushed.

I wonder if maybe some people have forgotten how to laugh.  God can help us find joy even in the daily struggles.  Moms should not dissolve into a puddle of anxiety whenever the kids do something completely normal like argue.  My little ones once fought over the flavor of imaginary cookies.  I was too impressed with their ingenuity to be upset.  They’re fighting over something that doesn’t exist.  How am I supposed to take it away?

Our kids are not holding a grudge or trying to remember to breathe because Dad forgot to pick them up from school one time.  It’s totally cool because they get to give him a hard time about it forever.  The right frame of mind makes this an inside joke and not a tragic wound.  Family life has its ups and downs, and it can be annoying when people are around to point out your downs.  But if they laugh loudly enough, they can drown out anyone who says the best outcome is to stay calm through the misery of raising children. 

Things that aren’t particularly amusing in the moment – like a Christmas tree that keeps falling over, the time I broke my toe in a lazy river, or when one kid said, “I think I’m going to…” and threw up on me before she got the rest of the words out – make good stories after everything is healed and clean.  My new mission is to remind people to seek and find joy in family life.  I have no idea how to accomplish this mission.  I have told one person about it so far, and she cried.  That is seriously what happened.  I said I want to try to get people to smile more, and she started crying.  I’m not sure that bodes well.  But if anyone smiled while reading about my pathetic mission, there is still hope.