How to Bring Our Best Self to Prayer

A Deep Dive into Prayer: A Discussion of Experienced Believers

What exactly is prayer? And is it important how we conduct ourselves while we pray, both for our benefit, and possibly for others? Prayer is our direct line to God, something that can be as simple as a loving gaze or as ornate and complex as an Easter liturgy. It can be something found in the silence of our hearts, but also in the singing of hymns and psalms. 

Our latest chat installment considers this important topic. Re-examine for yourself this most fundamental aspect of our faith, and learn to deepen your relationship with our loving Father, who art in heaven. 

And while you enjoy, please pray for someone most in need of God’s mercy.

And check out our Living Jesus Chat Room of the Visitation Sisters. Each Sunday we read a passage of St. Francis de Sales and then gather great insights and sharing.

What’s Your Prayer Type?

Question: Why is it important to delineate different types of prayer?

Caroline: So that we can talk about it more easily, that we can distinguish it by purpose.

Gianna: Because our Lord recommended it (the public prayer ‘Our Father’, the private “go in your closet pray to God in secret.”

Priscila: I agree with you, Caroline, plus to know which is best applicable in our situation.

Visitation Sister: It is helpful to know how the Holy Spirit is leading us in prayer.

Sherry: I guess – there are different ways I talk with my husband, for example. When we are in public at the church, or when we laugh in the kitchen. Or when we make decisions together. So, it is just normal to have different ways to talk with our heavenly Father too.

Gianna: That’s really good, Sherry.

Denise: Good, I mean helpful replies.

Caroline: Yes, our relationships mirror our relationship with Him.

Priscila: Sometimes it depends on the situation. Perhaps if we are terribly busy, or ill, all that we can do is ejaculatory prayer.

Gianna: True.

Sherry: That’s another point, Priscila… prayer has demands on body and soul. So, our body is in different states too… and our prayer might adjust to that.

Caroline: I experience that too. But when I can’t even do that, I can sing.

Sherry: Awe… so sweet Caroline. Those who sing pray twice what they say. Right? And when I cannot even sing. I sigh…towards heaven.

Caroline: Last I heard….

Put Your Prayer Where Your Mouth Is

Question: Why is exterior reverence in prayer important?

Gianna: It is very revealing of our helplessness.

Denise: Why it would be wonderful.

Sherry: Ohhh…. that was such a game changer for me – when I became Catholic. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that the prayer postures would have such an influence on my relationship with GOD. Amazing.

Priscila: It prepares our heart for interior movements.

Denise: Wonderful to hear a habit.

Caroline: Sloppy posture, sloppy prayer.

Sherry: Absolutely Priscila. Our posture definitely informs our interior movements. But it is also the other way round. When God moves my heart. I often have to take a different body posture. That is not very often. But it does happen.

Gianna: We cannot achieve anything that lasts unless we pray to God with head bowed, eyes closed, prostrate on our knees, our whole body.

Caroline: Usually sitting straight, feet on the floor is grounding. But kneeling seems to me to be supreme.

Sherry: Well…I had amazing times with the LORD actually laying down (on my back – in bed or couch). For some reason, this posture has been the one where God has visited me most.

Gianna: Yes.

Caroline: Sometimes I find myself at prayer and I discover I’ve been holding my hand over my heart.

Gianna: Wow.

Sherry: I would give so so much to be able to kneel. But I dislocated my knee three times. It does not go well for me – kneeling.

Caroline: Me too, Sherry!

Denise: Just thinking how Mary’s postures reflected her interiority.

Priscila: I don’t know why but God never wants me to pray lying down.

Caroline: We are so alike, Sherry. I can’t kneel either.

Sherry: I know the “hand on heart” too. Sometimes I do it spontaneously during Mass, I noticed.

Sherry: We really are alike, Caroline. How interesting.

Caroline: It is uncanny.

Priscila: I can’t kneel either, but I’m losing weight to kneel again.

Visitation Sister: Like souls.

Sherry: Priscila. That is quite some motivation. I just recently lost quite some weight. I still do not dare to kneel. But maybe further on. That is an interesting thought.

Priscila: I want to kneel for Communion….

Sherry: Lol. Same here – and in all fairness I root for walking.

Outward Sign of an Interior Reality

Question: How does body posture reverence tie into sacramental theology and significance?

Priscila: Shows our humility.

Caroline: Kneeling does show how we see ourselves in relation to God.

Sherry: I agree. I also think that it helps to get deeper into our experienced humility.

Gianna: By remembering that we are nothing if others with us are also prostrate, no one is looking at anyone but God! There is no room for pride.

Caroline: There is a power in that.

Sherry: I want to understand you correctly, Gianna… are you talking about several people prostrate on the floor – praying?

Gianna: O, sorry, I meant in Mass all heads are bowed, eyes closed, even if you can’t kneel.

Sherry: Oh. I see. Thanks for clarifying.

Gianna: But Eucharistic Adoration, yes, I see prostrations.

Sherry: I read recently – that the goal of Mass is, that all should have the same posture in everything – portraying unity of the body of Christ.

Gianna: Before entering church and before leaving.

Sherry: They actually lay down on the ground at your Mass? WOW. I have never seen that.

Gianna: Only before taking their seat.

Caroline: I have only seen it when people are taking vows.

Sherry: Do you mean genuflect – or prostrate? Sorry. I am confused.

Caroline: Or at Adoration.

Gianna: When Jesus is exposed.

Sherry: Ok.

Gianna: Normally genuflect. When Jesus is in the tabernacle.

Denise: I saw a mother teaching her children to lie prostrate before the Blessed Sacrament.

Gianna: But I have seen it after Mass. It leaves a deep impression on me. So many need to see the bowing, genuflecting and prostrations.

Prayer without Pride

Question: In showing physical signs of reverence around others, how can we avoid turning this into pride and self-righteousness?

Caroline: By not worrying about whether they see us or what they think.

Rebecca: I know a woman, now a Catholic, who became a convert after seeing an elderly brother before the blessed sacrament.

Gianna: I believe it.

Sherry: Deep and genuine reverence also impacted me before I became Catholic.

Rebecca: Genuflect before the Blessed Sacrament. That woman now works for our Diocese, in charge of evangelization.

Denise: Delightful story, Rebecca.

Gianna: The veil also converted me.

Priscila: I think if we keep our focus on God and what we are adoring.

Gianna: Yes! He is there truly!

Priscila: And remember that others who are seeing us may not have the sentiments that are in our heart.

Caroline: I imagine the processions during the Eucharistic Congress had the same effect.

Gianna: Yes!

Caroline: One of them I saw there must have been five hundred priests.

Gianna: A friend sent me a video of a priest in the middle of a small-town exposing Jesus and strangers knelt!

Rebecca: WHO we are adoring.

Gianna: I think singing St Thomas Aquinas.

Gianna: Eucharistic Hymn.

Sherry: I try to have an “average” posture around others. But I am intentional in my private prayer times with which posture I pray.

Priscila: If I prostrate myself before the Lord, I do so in private in a Eucharistic Chapel so as not to show off.

Praying in Secret

Question: Why is mental prayer so important?

Caroline: For me, mental prayer leads me to find the One Who is hidden behind the words.

Sherry: As for mental prayer – it is where “heart speaks to heart.”

Priscila: It helps us to ponder God’s mysteries and gain new insights.

Sherry: Mental prayer is where our relationship with God deepens most.

Priscila: Plus redirect our lives to firmer amendments.

Gianna: God fills our entire being with Himself.

Sherry: Gianna. That sounds like you have entered a form of contemplative prayer in your life.

Gianna: And everything else takes second place or is right ordered by God.

Visitation Sister: To me mental prayer is meditation- is that how you all understand it.

Gianna: Yes.

Sherry: In Salesian tradition – it is meditation. Mostly Gospel meditation, I think.

Denise: How I understand it.

Gianna: Ok.

Sherry: But I think it is an umbrella name for all kinds of prayers – that are not vocal prayers.

Caroline: Is Carmelite then different, with more of a separation between mental and contemplative?

Sherry: So. In a way – contemplative prayer is in the Salesian tradition, I think under mental prayer.

Visitation Sister: I always go back to St Jane's simple gaze on God.

Denise: Similarity between Salesian and Carmelite.

Sherry: I love the simple gaze of God: prayer.

Gianna: Wow that sounds like St Therese too. Little Flower.

Priscila: Not according to the Treatise on the Love of God…St. Francis de Sales makes a distinction between contemplation and meditation.

Sherry: Thanks, Priscila. He does make a distinction. But I think both prayer types fall under the category “mental prayer.” Please let us know about the closing Mass Sister.

Visitation Sister: Ok, I will let you know

Denise: This… “I always go back to St Jane's simple gaze on God.”

Rebecca: Yes! Wouldn’t it be great to all be together in one place.

Sherry: The thing is. In order to pray “the simple Gaze on God” prayer. We have to be really close to him. I found when I was in the dark night of the senses – not even yet in the dark night of the soul. That the Simple Gaze on God became seemingly difficult and I had to lean more on other types of prayer to commune with Him in prayer.

Priscila: St. Francis de Sales actually goes into the three points of differences between meditation and contemplation in book 6.

Sherry: I would love to come too, Caroline. So much. And even more if some of us were together there.

Caroline: Icons can be helpful for focus.

Denise: That was a copy of Sr. Susans post which touched me, to remember it.

Rebecca: When Jesus said where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in their midst; I wonder if he thought about our gathering THIS way, too.

Sherry: I have to focus on only one part of an icon. The whole one distracts me too much – often.

Sherry: Interesting question, Rebecca.

Rebecca: Interesting, Sherry.

Gianna: Yes, Rebecca!

Caroline: Oh, Rebecca, I bet it does.

Sherry: The more I think about it. Yes. We truly ARE gathered in HIS name.

Gianna: Yes!

Sherry: When I returned to the church. I thought for a while. That this passage should only be applied to the Mass. But I think differently now about it.

Visitation Sister: Yes, He is here with us.

Gianna: It is both!

Denise: Amen.

What's Your Prayer Type

Question: What do you find to be the “most important/meaningful” type of prayer?

Gianna: Mental prayer.

Rebecca: The Eucharistic Celebration.

Caroline: Adoration and Eucharist.

Priscila: The rosary.

Bethany: Say whatever you want to say to Jesus, ask him for his mercy, just like you talk to your best friend.

Rebecca: I agree, Bethany, because Jesus IS our best friend, that this form of prayer is extremely helpful.

Visitation Sister: Being with Jesus in chapel or church.

Priscila: It is a mental prayer plus a surrender prayer with the Our Father.

Bethany: Jesus teaches us how to say the Our Father when his friend asked him; we can also ask him how to say a direct prayer to our Father.

Sherry: The most meaningful way to pray for me – is the prayer where God himself pulls me in and determines the way of prayer and length of prayer… but the most important prayer is probably those I do out of love and obedience. And these are then mostly vocal prayers. Because it takes a lot for me to pray for them.

Priscila: It’s always best to be in church with Jesus, but He is with us even if we are not in His physical presence.

Sherry: Absolutely.

Caroline: That connection in silent prayer is really a conversation.

Priscila: He said I am with you always even until the end of time.

Sherry: Recently – the Liturgy of the Hours has become increasingly fruitful. But only after I started to pray them in German. It somehow speaks so much more to my soul.

Bethany: Remember you can pray to Jesus by saying Psalm 23, the Lord is my shepherd.

Gianna: Amen, Betty! I do love to pray God’s Holy Word!

Sherry: That is a beautiful way to pray, Gianna.

Priscila: All the psalms.

Caroline: The Hours are wonderful too. Different every day, but with its own rhythm.

Sherry: Reading the word. And praying it back to GOD. So powerful.

Gianna: Yes!!!

Prayer Discipline

Question: Did any of you have lay teachers or Sisters chastise their students for slouching during kneeling prayers? What do you think of this admonition? How can we improve upon the postures we use in prayer to make our prayers more devout and attentive?

Caroline: I don’t remember, but I’m sure it happened.

Denise: I think it's good discipline.

Gianna: I never did but was slouching until I heard a Don Bosco YouTube on it! I was just very tired, but God gave me the grace to stop!

Sherry: I don’t recall that personally. I just remember that it was considered especially important how to hold hands during prayer. And sometimes be corrected by the nuns. But I do not recall it being that harsh or so.

Gianna: It’s amazing how God helps us change our lazy ways!

Sherry: I sometimes cannot “fall” or “enter” prayer – if it does not reflect some sort of reverence.

Rebecca: And since I cannot get to daily Mass anymore, at least not in person, The Liturgy of the Hours has become so much more important to me. Even while I was in the hospital getting chemo, I prayed the Hours aloud WITH the Church Universal.

Priscila: I have seen it done…. but it is good because the child was usually very distracted by other peers.

Sherry: Just leaning forward in my prayer chair is often enough to reach that reverence that helps to enter prayer.

Gianna: That’s wonderful!

Caroline: I often watch Mass online if I can’t get there.

Denise: I too have been following praying the Hours.

Sherry: Oh Rebecca. I can see you praying the Hours in the hospital. It is a cherished memory for me, the one evening prayer we prayed together. Your voice was so “God drenched,” I could feel God entering our room, as you started praying. Will never forget that.

Caroline: Oh, it’s time to go! Have a blessed week everyone.

Priscilla: Have a blessed week, all!

Sherry: Have a great week.

Gianna: Have a blessed week!

Sherry: Hope to see you next Sunday again.

Rebecca: ????????????

If you enjoyed this article, why not join us at our Living Jesus Chat Room of the Visitation Sisters. Join us at 7:30 p.m. ET each Sunday! We read a passage of St. Francis de Sales and then gather great insights and sharing!