Liar Liar Pants on Fire: How to avoid breaking the 8th Commandment

The scripture and our priests homily inspired me to write this article regarding the sin of falsehood.  It goes by many names, such as lying and deceit, but at the core of them all is untruth.

My father had the innate ability to avoid falsehood.  What took me decades to (mostly) overcome seemed to be second nature to him. His tactics were bold, but the results were a marvel to watch! 

The act of telling a lie, or what Sacred Scripture often calls “falsehood,” is perhaps one of the easiest of the Ten Commandments to break.  One reason is that our society has embraced situation ethics and tells us that a “little white lie” is not really a lie if it is somehow beneficial.  One example is telling a fib to avoid hurting another person’s feelings.  Another is to avoid an uncomfortable situation; like when someone catches you off guard.  Both of those have been my downfall.  The reason, however, never justifies the falsehood.   A lie is still a lie.  Before I reveal some of the tricks of the truth trade my father taught me, let’s take a look at why No. 8 is so important to God.

First, God is 100% Truth.  The very essence of God is truth and light.  Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life…” and we know that God is changeless and there is no darkness found in him. By practicing truth we not only please God, but we conform to the image of his Son.  To be truthful in thoughts, words, and deeds is our goal in order that we may reflect God’s light in this dark and everchanging world.

Second, Liars are Fryers.  That is to say, any act of deceit mimics the devil who is the “father” of lies (John 8:44).  Sacred Scripture lumps liars with murderers who will “…have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.” (Revelations 21:8)

To lie is to be diametrically opposed to God and all that he is.  There is no great or small, white or black lie.  Lies are not graded (by God) on a bell curve.  However, in practicality there are certain types of lies that perpetuate further sin.  For example, when people falsify information.  The person who lies on their job application must maintain the lie or potentially lose their ill-gotten gain.  Personal relationships, too, have also been devastated when one person deceives another.  Lies that require more lies are moral quicksand.    

Now for tips on avoiding a lie!

I recall watching my father, a Baptist minister, frequently field questions that were tricky.  Watching him interact with others was a marvel to behold, but it took me years to work up the nerve to use some of the tools in his bag.  Here are three examples of how to avoid lying.

No. 1: Questions do not require an answer.  This is perhaps your best defense.  Just because someone asks you a question does not mean you are obligated to answer. There is literally no law that requires you to answer (legally we call it the 5th Amendment).  In social settings, however, not answering a question can be difficult because it does produce an awkward silence.  Most of us avoid awkward situations like the plague, but they happen.  However, from God’s perspective it is better to suffer the uncomfortable than to sin. Silence was a favorite tactic of my father.  If someone asked him a question he did not want to answer, then he did not answer it!   

No. 2: Truthful, but Tactful. (This one takes effort).  All too often we blurt out something immediately when asked a question.  Thinking before we speak takes discipline and there is no shame in taking a moment to formulate an appropriate answer. This really helps when dealing with interpersonal relationships! For example, the age-old question of “How do I look?” has been the bane of many.  Such a personal question, however, deserves the truth, but with a delicate response. In your head you might be thinking, “You look like a Pomeranian who got their head stuck in a fan,” but that would not be a beneficial reply. Rather than tell a quick “white” lie and escape the situation through sin, there are options. 

One option is to take a moment to look over whatever it is and find something about it that you can be both positive and truthful, such as, “I like the color.”  Another option is to answer the question with a question, for example, “You know my fashion sense sucks - how do you like it?”   It is possible to tell the truth (or avoid a lie) by simply being thoughtful. There is no guarantee that a person’s feelings will not be hurt; some people take any negativity poorly.  The overall objective, however, is not to sin.   

No. 3: Straightforward Truth.  Let your “yes” be “yes” and your “no” be “no” and let the chips fall where they may. Lengthy answers bear no more weight than a short reply. In reality, more words can dig a deeper pit!     

God nowhere implies that telling the truth is easy.  In fact, Jesus tells us that leading the life he has called us to live will be difficult and contrary to the world around us.  Truth may break a heart.  Truth may disappoint.  But truth first is always better than telling it (or having it exposed) later when the damage is already done.  “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but they that deal truly are his delight.” Proverbs 12:22.