It's Hard to See Jesus in Our Catholic Schools

With a new school year just a few weeks underway, I can’t help but think about something that’s been weighing on me for a while: Where have the real Catholic values gone? As a single mom, I made the decision to send my daughter to a Catholic school because I wanted her to be in an environment that reflected our faith—a place where love, compassion, and respect were more than just words. But what we experienced was the exact opposite.

My daughter was bullied, and I don’t just mean teased—she was isolated, made to feel like she didn’t belong. And when I approached the school for help, the response I got was infuriating. Instead of holding the bullies accountable, the assistant principal turned it around on my daughter. They suggested that her weight gain was the reason she was being targeted and then had the nerve to recommend therapy for her, as if she was the problem. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.Watching my daughter, who had once been so full of life and joy, become withdrawn and sad was heartbreaking. She was suffering, and the school—the place I trusted to guide her in faith and character—did nothing. I feared for her mental health, worried that she might fall into a dark place she couldn’t pull herself out of.

I eventually made the decision to take her out of the Catholic school mid-year and enroll her in the local public school. That wasn’t an easy choice. But to my relief, she made friends almost immediately—real friends who cared about her. One of them has been her best friend for two years now. The change in her was almost instant. She smiled, she laughed, she came back to life.

This whole experience opened my eyes to a bigger issue: Many families who send their kids to Catholic schools aren’t there for the right reasons. It’s not about faith or values for them—it’s about status. They send their kids to Catholic school because it looks good. They’re more concerned with appearances than actually living out the teachings of the Church. And the schools are letting them get away with it.

The administration was no better. If you weren’t one of the families who donated big money or paid full tuition, you were treated differently. As a single mom who was barely able to cover the difference after a scholarship, I couldn’t afford to donate or volunteer like some of the other parents. And because of that, we were made to feel like we didn’t matter as much. It was all about who could give more, not about the actual values the school was supposed to represent.

Catholic education should be about more than just academics and achievements. It should be about teaching kids the Truth—the truth of who we are as followers of Jesus, and how our values need to reflect that in everything we do. We’re called to see Jesus in others, to love as He loved, and to stand up for what’s right, even when it’s uncomfortable. Our faith teaches us to love our neighbors as ourselves, to show compassion, and to care for the least among us. But what I saw was a system that cared more about money and appearances than truly living out the values of our faith.

At the heart of it, Catholic education should help our children recognize that every person is made in the image of God and deserves dignity and respect. It should be a place where they learn to see Christ in others and to be Christ to others, not just in words but in actions. If our schools aren’t teaching that, then we’ve lost sight of the very essence of our faith.

We absolutely need to do better. Catholic schools need to remember why they exist in the first place—to help children grow in their faith and character, to be places where every child, regardless of their financial situation, is valued and supported. And as parents, we need to make sure we’re living out the faith we claim to believe in. It’s not enough to just send our kids to Catholic school for the sake of appearances. We need to model these values at home, in our actions, every day.

Unfortunately, my daughter’s story isn’t unique. I know other families have experienced similar things, and it’s time to start talking about it. Catholic schools need to realign with the values they claim to uphold, so all kids have the chance to thrive—not just academically, but spiritually and emotionally.