Do not let his sin cause you to sin!
Got A Hug For Me God
Photo By: Flickr/Rachel Kramer
Recently I had a relapse into self-defeating negative thoughts about myself. When I was reflecting on Psalm 35 and 36, it reminded me how I allowed the evil one to whisper lies to me about myself. I became filled with negative thinking and acting. O Lord fight those fighting me; declare war on them for their attacks on me. Put on your armor, take your shield and protect me by standing in front. Lift your spear in my defense, for my pursuers are getting close. Let me hear you say that you will save me from them. Psalm 35: 1-4.
I knew I needed to get to Confession soon. I decided to go Saturday afternoon. I arrived a couple of minutes before Confession was scheduled to start and noticed lots of cars in the Church parking lot. I thought to myself- I can't go into Church in my present state. Here I am with no make-up on, my hair looking pretty scary, eyes swollen from crying, and to top it off I was in my old grubby clothes.
I started to cry again. I decided the best I could do at that moment was to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet in my car. I mentally decided I could not go into Church to confession. With tears streaming down my face, I began to pray the Chaplet. Mysteriously the prayer of the Divine Mercy Chaplet began to quiet my troubled heart and soul. As I was finishing the Chaplet, I looked up and right before my eyes was one of my favorite priests, Father Wang and his assistant Becky, walking into the Church. Father Wang was filling in for the parish priest that weekend I found out later. In that moment I realized that it was God's way of being present to me and to let me know that He is always with me no matter.
I said to myself “Toughen up Connie because God loves me as I am. I wiped the tears from my eyes, and went to confession with Father Wang. I was able to take in God's mercy and his love through Father Wang in this beautiful Sacrament of Reconciliation. I received a much needed hug and words of encouragement from Becky as well.
On my way home from confession, I realized that I am in a daily spiritual battle. I need to armor myself with His Holy Word, Mass, the Rosary and spend more time in adoration to keep the enemy away from me and my family.
Proverbs 31: 25 states-She is clothed in strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come.
I know that God is my strength and my dignity comes from being a child of God so I can indeed be joyful and laugh at the days to come.
Let us pray and reflect: Your steadfast love, O Lord, is as great as all the heavens. Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds. Your justice is as solid as God's mountains. Your decisions are as full of wisdom as the oceans are with water. You are concerned for men and animals alike. How precious is your constant love, O God! All humanity takes refuge in the shadow of your wings. You feed them with blessings from your own table and let them drink from your rivers of delight. Psalm 36-5-8.
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About the Author
Connie Beckman resides in Helena Montana with her husband and their dog Chewie and their two cats Heidi and Bailey. A number of years ago, she was the editor and feature story writer for a small bi-weekly newspaper. Connie has been published in a number of Catholic magazines. Margaret Ann Stimatz, Ruth Lloyd, and Connie co-authored a 40-day-reflection booklet entitled: Mercy for Little Souls which contains tidbits about the late Father Stu Long's powerful ministry with quotes from the Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska: Divine Mercy In My Soul. Mercy for Little Souls is available at Beyond.227.org. Her desire as a writer is to encourage Catholic spiritual growth by sharing the truths of the faith through the written word addressing a variety of subjects. "Go out to all the world and tell the good news." Mark 16:15.
