That which does not kill us makes us stronger!

So uncharacteristically her, my girlfriend blurts out, “You know what Suzanne, people Suck!” We were having our monthly tea when she slams down her China cup, spilling some out on the tablecloth.

“Can you believe I’ve been fired for the third time in my life!” I shrug and nod my head in agreement. I think to myself….

“I know it’s not her, she is as honest and hard working as the day is long, and perhaps a little on the too nice side. “

I’m convinced that evil people who hide their malice behind a mask of virtue, must see her sweet ,charming face  as a  big, fat  “Welcome Mat!” Yet each time life throws her a curve ball, I notice she gets a little more resilient, a little tougher.  The lovely China teacups, cloth napkins, and fresh flowers on the table, make us feel a little more   civilized in a sometimes-uncivilized world. She continues relaying her story to me, by imitating the offending dictator with an upturned nose and a three-octaves -too-high voice…

“I’m sorry, but Im letting you go, you’re just not the right fit.” 

We both crack up at her imitation and then she says, “you’re not sorry in the least bit! You probably even enjoyed it-…You with your insolent smile, and that hard and conceited look on your face!”

And then she looks around the restaurant in the unlikely event that the nasty woman is in the room.

I know tough – through my journey of discovery I have found that getting tough is only possible by going through some unpleasant stuff.   When I went through the police academy decades ago, there were folks who enjoyed making it tough for each of us fifty cadets.  The academy is designed to toughen you up; the range, report writing, and weaponless defense, where you get your arm twisted out of its socket.  Those are things that will make you tough.  And then there is mental toughness…. the sarcastic drill sergeant telling you to “suck it up ButterCup” at every turn. It’s all to prepare you for what you will have to deal with, “out there”- sucky people.

Did you know that you can pay for toughness training?  From ropes courses to mental toughness classes; there are options.  When I was a kid, it was free. My mom was like Clarise from Steel Magnolias. No sympathy, only Christian Sarcasm!  Her mantra, “that which does not kill you dear will make you stronger…  now go out there and fight!”  And then mom reminds us, “You are a soldier of God!  You are not of the world, only in it.” Which is supposed to make it sting that much less.  Church on Sundays reinforced her message. As you looked up and saw Jesus hanging on the cross, bloody, he was a reminder, that life is tough, chose your cross or one will be dropped on you.

“The Lord is my strength and my song.” “In the world you have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

After Church there was Sunday afternoon John Wayne Westerns. He never put up with sissy kids! I worry about the kids today. They live in a world gone soft. New terms that were never in our vernacular before have now appeared such as, micro aggression, safe space and hate speech.  I am concerned they are not getting the toughness training they will need to get through this life.   I imagine starting my own toughness training courses… It’s not fully fleshed out but I really think it could make the world a better place.  I imagine walking by a young person and punching them in the arm and then saying, “suck it up Buttercup!”    In my imaginary Toughness School world, they are grateful.  But I know in reality, they would only rub their sore arm and think, “people suck!”