The Forgotten Mother
Introduction
Well hello! Welcome to Two Hearts True Healing. It’s so good to be with you! This time is seeped in much prayer and meditation and I am so excited to share with you the fruit of my study and prayer. I have been learning a lot about God’s intention for community and how my mother’s love is to shape my small community. This is Season Three episode two; God’s Plan for Humanity and a Mother’s Love: The Blessing. As we start the fall season, I can’t help but be thankful for all the blessings God is pouring upon my family as we roll into the school routine and start back up with co-op. Without His grace we would be getting no-where. It is so much easier to do our school with the new format that our Lord has shown me in community. We are better together and we have found more zest in curiosity and love of learning versus academic excellence. It is like a breath of fresh air and so rejuvenating. We can better tackle our day once we have started our ritual Morning Time together. We look forward to our day instead of dreading it precisely because we have started together and relationally learned together instead of going our separate ways. This comes from me being secure in God’s gift. I can see this especially on days when I forget this all important truth and we have a rough day.
Covenant
We’ll pick up our study with Genesis 12. The two chapters before deal with genealogy and passing on the blessing or the curse. See S1E8 Tower of Babel to learn this already covered information of how the curse of Ham carried over in his sons. Ham was not mentioned but the heart of what was happening was. These descendants of Babel affected everyone as the language of man was scrabbled and peoples spread apart. In this time, it was more necessary than ever to draw into the communities that God created and follow the Blessing. All of our covenant with God draws on His promise. We have generations of peoples from Shem Ham and Ja’pheth down to Abram. What has transpired? Will God forget his calling to a family and then to the tribe?
Let’s take a look. Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you, and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who curses you I will curse; and by you all the families of the earth shall bless themselves.” Abram believes God. He takes his nephew Lot and his wife Sarai and, in faith, follows the path of the Lord. That took a lot of guts and trust to set off on this adventure with the Lord. They were so blessed. God had already given them so much. Except one thing: a son. They took their family and their possessions and the persons they had acquired and set out. They lived out their faith by action. God said He would make a great nation of them and they followed the voice in trust that He would work out the details.
Treasure
It is important with any endeavor to draw close to one another and to help the other succeed. Let’s take a pause on Abram’s endeavor to learn a little theology before we continue. We must look around us and take in the beauty that God has given us. We count our blessings and steward them. We care for and flourish the blessing and allow God to act to bring us even closer. How does this happen in a married couple who is the basis of all communities? The man treasures his wife and cherishes her. He lavishes upon her trust and supports her. He complements the successes and forgives the failures. He leads and she follows. He calls out, in his wife, her beauty and lays himself down for her. He pours out his heart and soul to provide for his family and to carry out the mission God has given them. She stays under His mission as a support and co-carries the load.
His wife, in turn, can then revel in the gift of the Lord. She listens for the initiative of her husband. She basks in his loving attentions and counts the blessings they acquire together. Security is the fruit of love that is showered upon the wife. The man must treasure their work together and take care to assist and love her. Remember, the woman’s gift is to come from the fullness her husband gives her in intimacy. She must be secure in her husband’s love in order to love fully. Cherishing takes many forms. The man must continue to make a study of his wife and court (date) her. He must lovingly pursue her and relish her beauty and show in word and deed that she is everything to him. He must become selfless. And lead in that regard through thick and thin. Who says that in the marriage vows first? The man. He is the leader before God and takes the burden/joy of the covenant upon himself. Then the woman follows. What he does and requests, she follows. Except in the case of sin. If she has hesitations she voices them and she takes them to God to let Him take over and show the truth to help them through.
It is easy to see where wounding comes in this regard. When we don’t have security then we forget our value. It becomes a battle of who has the most worth based on what one does, not in the mutual gift. It is so easy to fail at loving and cherishing when us women are not secure in the Father’s love. How can we keep our cool when we have forgotten that we mean something? The gifts and blessings of our children and possessions are lost upon us. We yell. We vomit our competition for value with them. It becomes a battle of wills juxtaposed against each other. But God works in peace. What does one do when one is lost and that battle has begun? We run to God the Father and ask Him to show us the promise and the blessing and we take little steps in counting the little blessings He lavishes upon us. He works in the ordinary. The mundane. The everyday grind. I know firsthand how hard that can be. It is so easy to see the blessings of others and become jealous and sad and negative. It is so easy to stop seeing what God has done and we get caught in the vicious cycle of taking versus receiving.
God has to wake us up in order for us to be restored. How does He do that? He allows suffering and hardship and gently shows us again and again our worth once we have turned to Him and are learning His graces. But we have to lean in. It is our effort of seeking and living. Joy to strengthen us for heartache and heartache to strengthen us for joy. In our suffering and failing in learning how to be versus do, God stoops to bless us and keeps blessing us. We just won’t see it until we have acknowledged our failure and stop comparing ourselves. Our blindness has to be cured before we realize that all along God has been showering us with his love. God is a God of abundance not scarcity. Their is enough for everyone so we don’t have to be stingy or jealous. We can’t receive that abundant love when we look upon other’s gifts without seeing our own or rejoicing with the gains of our brothers and sisters. If we are too caught up in saving ourselves and protecting our heart from further hurt, then we miss the opportunity to grow and strengthen ourselves in virtue and in love. We miss the birthing of our spirits. That doesn’t mean we don’t have boundaries. Quite the opposite. We all need guidelines. Treasure begins in the chastity of the couple (or in singlehood of service). Don’t be ashamed if you need outside help to restore any lost trust or miscommunication. Forgiveness and letting go is so important and the first step in taking down strongholds.
The next step is to stop battling and to restore affirmation. We only know how we can be loved in the way we need and we need to communicate our needs so that the other can love us in the way that will help bring us peace and further our holiness. We have to have the broader view that if our heart is centered on God, He will help us weather any storm and pull us out stronger on the other side. It is work between the three. A three strung chord in the words of Fulton J. Sheen. God will give us little insights beyond the natural into the heart of the other beyond our human expectations. Expectations, that is the next step. Naming what we want or need and thanking when we are understood or affirmed in the way we need, which can sometimes not be what we want. The other knows us. Patterns of good and ill and can objectively call us up and out. Often it is easy to try and love in the way we want versus the way the other needs. Often those are completely opposite. If you need more resources in that regard, try the book The Five Love Languages. This is a good start and I have other resources for you once that is covered. God is a god of Love.
Lack of Trust
Let’s pick up in verse 10 to see what happens under fire and how Sarai and Abram fare when it comes to their first trial. Now there was a famine in the land. So Abram went down to Egypt to sojourn there, for the famine was severe in the land. When he was about to enter Egypt, he said to Sarai his wife, “I know that you are a woman beautiful to behold; and when the Egyptians see you, they will say ‘This is his wife’; then they will kill me, but they will let you live. Say you are my sister, that it may go well with me because of you, and my life may be spared on your account. When Abram entered Egypt the Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful. And when the princes of Pharaoh saw her, they praised her to Pharoah. And the woman was taken into Pharaoh’s house. And for her sake he dealt well with Abram.
Well now, on the surface this may seem okay right? Just a little scheme to preserve everyone’s safety, right? Mmmm. Sarai is drop dead gorgeous and it fills Abram with fear. Is fear from God? He treasured his own life more than Sarai’s and wasn’t willing to lay his life down for her. To take a risk, trusting that God would lay a way before them to get to the other side or that God would protect them. They weren’t facing this together and accepting what comes. Lies don’t hold well. He forgot that God promised them that they would be the start of a great nation. He forgot the promise so quickly after hearing the voice of God. Spiritual amnesia. Interesting how that always seems to happen under hell and high water.
But something beautiful is shown here. God still blesses Abram and Sarai and shows his protection of their marriage and covenant and His promise to them. He stoops down to them, like a Father who always treasures us. Verse 17 But the Lord afflicted Pharoah and his house with great plagues because of Sarai, Abram’s wife. So Pharaoh called Abram, and said, “What is this you have done to me? Why did you not tell me she was your wife? Why did you say ‘She is my sister,’ so that I took her for my wife? Now then here is your wife, take her, and be gone.” And Pharaoh gave men orders concerning him on the way with his wife and all that he had. They came out unscathed and richer. Provided for in the famine.
Afterwards Abram goes on a manly little mission to rescue his nephew. And an important thing happens. He receives a blessing from an important personage. Melchizedek, high priest of God. What’s the significance here? You can read in Hebrews a little more about this personage and the heart behind this, but tradition carries that he is the person the blessing of Seth was being guarded to pass on upon the next in line. Before a major event God lays the way and anoints Abram with that blessing, “Blessed be Abram by God Most High, maker of heaven and earth; and blessed be God Most High, who has delivered your enemies into your hand!” In thanksgiving to God, Abram tithes a tenth of everything to God with the proper attitude of gratitude. Then a really major event happens which you can listen to in S1E9 Transfiguration. God visibly lays out the covenant with Abram.
But the two still haven’t learned their lesson. We pick up with Chapter 16 after years have passed without a major part of the promise, a son. It is another part of the wound the two are allowing to fester instead of trusting again in God’s promise. Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, bore him no children. She had an Egyptian maid whose name was Hagar; and Sarai said to Abram, “Behold now, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children; go into my maid; it may be that I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. Oh my! We find it had been 10 years. Hagar is considerably younger than Sarai most likely. So Sarai takes Hagar and gives her as a wife to Abram. Oh dear! Talk about a family dynamic! A slave for a wife. So Sarai thinks, “They will be my children!” Well guess what? Abram goes into Hagar and Hagar conceives.
What was he thinking? This begins a strife in the family. Hagar looks with contempt upon Sarai because of her bareness. And what does Sarai do? And Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done to me be on you! I gave my maid to your embrace, and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked on me with contempt. May the Lord judge between you and me!” Wait a minute! Sarai is blaming Abram for her sin after wanting Hagar to conceive so she could have the children! Sarai feels guilt and takes it out on two people! This is the opposite of sisterhood, and being a bride. They are not blessing each other. Abram washes his hands of the affair, saying, do what you please with her. She’s your maid. See what I said? It becomes a competition and a comparison. Worth on what one does. Sarai mistreats Hagar so much that she runs away. But again something beautiful happens. God stoops down and sees Hagar. He sends an angel to Hagar and God makes a promise to her about a great nation being born from her and to go back to Sarai. This is where the muslim people stem. There is a great difference on how we see God and they do. Think about it. From the thought of sonship versus slavery. But we get ahead of ourselves. God gets a beautiful title from her. A God who sees. This is important. God is a God of Abundance and sees us. There is enough for everyone. He is not a God of scarcity. We are not invisible.
God Keeps His Promise
God again stoops to Abram and tells him again that a great nation will stem from him. He probably hears this with a laugh as he is now 86 years old. Something significant happens here with the sign of the covenant, circumcision. We get a name change. Abram becomes Abraham and Sarai becomes Sarah. God has given them a new mission and a new beginning. He again promises them a son and heir. Abraham falls on his face and laughs. Abraham says, “Here is my Ishmael.” God says “No, YOU will have a son through Sarah. You will call him Isaac. I will establish my covenant for his descendents after him. As for Ismael I have heard you; behold, I will bless him and make him fruitful and multiply him exceedingly.” God moves slowly and expects us to keep faith. Things happen according to a plan and at the right time. Ishmael was thirteen at the time of this promise.
More time passes. We pick up in Chapter 18. The threesome of God appears to Abraham. This time we see a slight change in Abraham. He seems to be waiting for God and runs to be hospitable to his guests. Verse 9 They said to him, “Where is Sarah your wife? And he said, “She is in the tent.” The Lord said, “I will surely return to you in the spring, and Sarah your wife shall have a son.” And Sarah was listening at the tent door…Now Abraham and Sarah were old and advanced in age. We are then told Sarah has ceased having cycles. Sarah laughs. Thinking to herself we are old and God has not given us the son in the time we had. Can I still have pleasure? She wasn’t trusting that God can do anything. God says, “Why do you laugh?” Sarah is afraid, “I didn’t.” “You did.”
Unfortunately in Chapter 20 the two of them again showed a deep lack of trust in God like they did in Egypt as they traveled to the Negeb. Abimilech takes Sarah for a wife as she still is very beautiful. God intervenes again before he touches her in a dream. God tells Abimilech to have Abraham pray for them and vindication will not happen if he returns her. Abimilech gives them great riches in reparation, returning her and Then Abraham prayed to God and God healed Abimilech and his wife and female slaves so that they bore children. For the Lord had closed all the wombs of the house of Abimilech because of Sarah Abraham’s wife. This seems like a great paradox as the two of them still do not have Isaac. Abraham must have wondered at this. But then, God keeps his promise and at the appointed time, she becomes pregnant and gives birth to Isaac. This happens in chapter 21.
Abraham was 100 years old when his son Isaac was born to him. And Sarah said, “God has made laughter for me; everyone who hears will laugh over me.” And she said, “Who would have said, to Abraham that Sarah would suckle children? Yet I have born him a son in his old age.” Sadly this statement still portrays her lack of trust. And we know this because when Isaac is weaned, Ishmael stoops and plays with his half brother and Sarah is jealous. She is afraid Ishmael will receive the blessing instead of her own. So she begs Abraham to send Hagar and Ishmael away. There is still contention here. She is reminded of her former sin instead of accepting she still lashes out. Abraham didn’t want to but God says, “Do as Sarah has said. I will take care of them and bless them on account of you.” The “God who sees” does keep his promises and when Hagar and Ishmael have run out of resources He stoops down again and shows Hagar mercy and where to get water and sustenance. God keeps his promises.
Abraham has grown. It is as if he has been sitting back and seeing God’s faithfulness through every failing. God, stooping down to meet him and his wife. Chapter 22 is a testament to his heart. God tests Abraham. We can see progressively each time Abraham has trusted a little more and so it is only natural that God would make sure that Abraham will follow the covenant and the promise. We know the story. Both parties are receptive to God’s plan and willingly follow God’s prompting to the sacrifice. What does Abraham say? “God will provide the lamb, my son!” An angel stops Abraham from killing his son, and a ram is given, and Abraham passes on the legacy of faith that God will provide faithfully for his descendants in taking on and keeping the covenant promise and taking on the blood guilt for sin. Thanks so much for tuning in! Please pass on the word and give this to a friend if it has touched you! You can always reach out to me at twoheartstruehealing@outlook.com or on my website, www.twoheartstruehealing.com . Know I am praying for you! Thank you for your time and following along with me in learning how to cherish the gifts and promises of the Lord and in accepting His plan. His timing is always right. Have Faith and next time you are tempted to not trust think of Hagar and Sarah. God is a God who sees.
Here is the Audio version: S3E2 The Blessing; A God Who Sees
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