My Lola's Little Way of Praying the Rosary

I was about 8 years old when I was first asked to lead a decade of the Rosary. I remember waiting anxiously through the first part, thinking all kinds of negative thoughts. I was afraid I would fumble holding the beads or lose count or not say it the way it should be said. But my Lola (my grandma in Filipino), who in my little eyes was the well-seasoned expert in prayer, whispered to me in a calm, reassuring voice: “just say one ‘Hail Mary’ at a time.” And with those words of wisdom and reassurance, I was set. I started out slow, nervous and shaky at first, but then after a few beads, I got into the flow and the rhythm, and I started to gain some confidence. Ten beads later, I found myself, for the first time, leading an entire mystery. That was easy, I thought, and it was quite a proud but quiet moment of accomplishment for the 8-year-old me. Later on in my young life, I would often find myself leading prayer groups through an entire rosary. And it all started with those few words that my Lola whispered in my ear.

Now, in my work as an organizational psychologist tackling big grown-up projects with lofty goals, I often reflect on this early childhood experience. I would often remind myself of the wisdom and technique my Lola taught me—take it one step at a time. Start small and focus on each small step towards the goal, no matter how big and lofty that goal is.

When we set smaller, incremental, and achievable goals, the large goal becomes less daunting, more manageable, and more realistic. When we have a lofty goal that we need to accomplish, it is almost always our natural tendency to first get overwhelmed, and that instinctive reaction has the potential to leave us stressed out and paralyzed by fear and intimidation. The secret, just as what this rosary experience revealed to me, is to tackle big goals one small step at a time—steps we can actually take, manage, accomplish, and win. Small wins add up and accumulate and eventually the big lofty goal is achieved.

In the history of progress, we often celebrate and talk about major leaps forward such as the landing on the moon or the invention of computers, but the majority of these monumental events are actually made up of the small progress events that happen every day. We know about Apollo 11, the first landing of humans on the moon, but this monumental event would not have been possible if not for the lesser-known Pioneer 0, the very first attempt to go to the moon 11 years prior. The monumental events in history stand on the shoulders of the small everyday-progress events that are rarely talked about. We tend to celebrate the big wins paying less attention to the small wins even though those small wins are what will get us there.

We can learn from the wisdom of the “little way” of St. Therese the Little Flower. As we take those small steps on the way to our larger goal, let us not minimize each step but instead make sure that we perform the little ordinary things with extraordinary love. We might not be celebrating the small wins but it doesn't mean that we don't have to treat them with great love. The small incremental wins are what will take us to the completion.

This October, the month of the Holy Rosary which contains the feast day of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, the Little Flower, may we be reminded to take every step, no matter how small, with great love. Take it one rosary bead at a time, meditating on each ‘Hail Mary’ with great love, being mindful of each uttered word. Before you know it, you're praying an entire rosary accumulating love after love, resulting in one great prayerful love.