THE COLD FLAME

THE COLD FLAME 

On a cold spring morning in April, I drove to our town's landfill to dispose of old paint for the hazardous waste collection; I was in a lineup of cars waiting until it was my turn; there was a young lady obtaining information standing in the gusty cold wind; she was not dressed appropriately for this type of weather wearing only a sweatshirt with no jacket or coat. Sitting in my car wearing a heavy coat, the heater pouring out hot air, I opened my window when I reached her. She held onto a clipboard, her body trembling from the cold wind, her teeth were chattering when asking me questions. I said to her, "You must be awfully cold out there." She replied, "I didn't think it was going to be this cold and only wore this." I quietly moved onward for the workers to remove the paint items, then drove away. 

Halfway home, it was then I realized I had failed again. I should have offered my warm coat to this lady, but I didn't. I could have picked it up later, but didn't think of it. I should have gone back, but didn't. Someone in need, needed something I had, right then, now! I had many coats at home. Did I need them all? Couldn't I spare one, and given her mine? 

The warm embers in my heart were cold, unaware of an opportunity to serve the Lord. Why didn't I act? Where was my heart? I have sinned. Forgive me, for what I have done and failed to do. (Matthew 25: 43: I was a stranger and you never made me welcome, naked and you never clothed me.) This bears heavy in my heart and on my conscience. Sad to say, I was lost in my own thoughts of comfort, in a world oblivious to the obvious. 

This is a reminder to myself to be awake and alert and accessible to those in need. In my writings I have given you glimpses of the "good" things I have done. This is not a proud moment for me, to admit to you that I failed in my mission to light a heart, to do something for someone I left out in the cold, shivering, abandoned. These are the moments and opportunities that are lost -- gifted moments when the spark of grace has called upon our hearts, to expedite action to the need of others. 

My thoughts are with this lady I left out in the cold, hoping someone else had the foresight to help her. I wish I could take that moment back -- it is lost! Lost in an everyday shuffle: too busy to think, to think beyond my own comfort; to see the unseen helplessness of others who wait for the spark to uplift their unfortunate situations. I am a victim of the insensitive voice within. I am empty, with an unlit heart. 

Rekindle me, O Lord, for the light was dim and I have lost my way. You have seen me without Your spark -- a cold flame which bears no warmth. Pour out Your spirit upon me, O Lord; light thy lamp and embers within, to once again warm and embrace those on my path.

Robert J Varrick
rjvarrick@gmail.com