We all get low at times
“WHAT GOD HAS UNITED; MAN MUST NOT DIVIDE”
Mk. 10-16
I came home from work as my wife served dinner. Was the time right to tell her the shattering news I wanted a divorce? I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed, instead she asked me softly, “Why?” I avoided her question. This made her angry. She shouted at me, “You are not a man!” and walked into the kitchen.
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She just cried. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage, but I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer. The simple truth was I didn’t love her anymore and I had fallen in love with Jane. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could have our house, our car, and a 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent twenty years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane, not her. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I returned home very late and found her writing something at the table. I went straight to bed and quickly fell asleep because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. In that month we should try and live as normal a life as possible, our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to upset him with the knowledge of our broken marriage.
I agreed. But she had something more to say. She recalled how I had carried her into our home on our wedding day. She requested that every morning for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. “No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce,” she said scornfully.
When I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son slow clapped behind us. While in my arms she closed her eyes and said softly, “Don't tell our son about the divorce.” I nodded. I put her down outside the door and drove off to the office.
On the fourth day she leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at my wife carefully for a long time. I could see she was not young any more. There were wrinkles on her face, her hair was greying. Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
After seven days, when I lifted her up, I realised that our sense of intimacy was growing again. Of course, I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
One morning she was choosing what to wear. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, “All my dresses have grown bigger.” I suddenly realized that she had grown very thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me. She had buried so much pain in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and put my arm around her. Our son came in at the moment and said, “Dad, it's time to carry Mum out.” To him, seeing his Dad carrying his mother out had become an everyday occurrence. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and we hugged each other tightly. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom to the front door. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. On this last day her much lighter weight made me sad. I felt an intimacy I had not felt for many a day. When I set her on her feet, I wanted to kiss her but I refrained.
I drove to the office and went straight to Jane’s room and said, “Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.” She looked at me, astonished, and touched my forehead. “Have you a fever?” she said. I moved her hand off my head. “Sorry, Jane, I won't divorce her. I now know that I was to blame. I didn’t give her the attention and affection I should. Each day this month I have carried her from the bedroom to the front door. I have realised how much she has been missing my love. Now I realise I failed her when I promised to love her till death do us part.” At these words Jane burst into tears, slapped me across the face and slammed the door behind her.
After work I stopped off at the flower shop and bought a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I wrote on the card, “I'll carry you out every morning until death do us part.”
When I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran upstairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
She had been fighting CANCER and I was so busy with Jane to notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save our son from any negative reaction that would arise from the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son I did appear a loving husband.
Lord Jesus, the small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the house, the car, the property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive to happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. May each spouse make time for each other and do those little things that build intimacy. May they do all they can to have a really happy marriage!
MY WEBSITE IS AT https://fatherfrancismaple.co.uk