Jesus tells me to uncover every stone.

Dear Father Eric,

This morning after reading the gospe,l you began your homily by telling us that these things from the gospel still matter today. You said, “What matters most is what’s going on in our soul. Is every level of our lives in line with Christ? Do we have pure intentions, pure dispositions? Open our eyes to the never ending process. When we do good, what is in our heart? Are we doing it out of love for others, or because it makes us feel good to do good? Jesus is calling us to uncover every stone, to live in communion with God in our actions thoughts and desires.”

Such a thought provoking homily this morning. I thought about it off and on all day. “What matters most is what’s going on in our soul.” Sounds simple enough. We’re all called to holiness. We know we should obey God’s law the Commandments, though at times we excuse ourselves as the devil might give us the inclination to do. But again thinking about this “what matters most is what’s going on in our soul.” If I think of my soul as united to my mind, my heart, my whole self, I find this disturbing. Why do I do what I do?

Why did I accept the simple little job of taking care of the votive candles? It makes me feel good. It gets me off the hook of taking on bigger responsibilities. I enjoy seeing the candles looking all neat and pretty. I like talking to people who walk in to church in the middle of the day. It gives me a chance to visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.

Are my intentions pure? Hopefully, yet I became passive aggressive to the office secretary this morning when she told me someone complained about how I’m doing the candles. This was right after Mass. Right after I received Jesus in Holy Eucharist. I left in a huff! I had only driven a few blocks when I felt the desire to go back and apologize. At first she didn’t seem to know what I was apologizing for especially since I was crying a little and she couldn’t understand me. We discussed the problem of the candles for a few minutes. I had a better understanding of what the concern was and even though I wasn’t sure I agreed, I pretended to agree. I thanked Jesus for bringing me back right away.

Thank you, Father, for giving us words to live by, for trying to help us be holy.

This was written 3 or 4 years ago. My involvement in the Church has grown since my one little responsibility of cleaning out the glass holders of our votive candles and replacing them with fresh candles. This homily helped me more than Father Eric will ever know, for the more I’m asked to do and the more I accept these different ministries, the greater my need to remember Father’s words, “Jesus is calling us to uncover every stone, to live in communion with God in our actions, thoughts, and desires.”

“Dear Lord, Search my heart. Help me get every level of my life in line with you. Open my eyes to the never ending process of pure intentions and pure dispositions. Let it be your holy love that motivates my every action.” Kathy