BURNING EMBERS

BURNING EMBERS

“I take you for my lawful spouse, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.” Do we believe it? Do we feel it? Do we grow in love, or just live – to survive? This bonding of hearts – this commitment –what is this special glue that holds this union from evaporation?

It is; compassion! One must be compassionate first then love follows. I will tell you of my own journey.

My marriage of 25 years was full of stumbling stones, as I fumbled along. For so many years, I never knew they were there; I never saw them. My wife, being away on a trip – I set out on a task of cleaning out some of the items I had long tucked away. I looked through different size boxes and discarded many unusable items. I opened up a large size envelope to find a great treasure; love letters written to me from my wife, so many years ago. Long forgotten memories of early love. I looked at them; there were 48 in all. With great care, I began to read each letter, taking in every word, with affection. I was 23 at the time, my wife was 19. A young bride with such loving expectations, hopes, and dreams. Such vibrance of the heart; a love so strong – each word penetrated deeper into my heart. Tears soon filled my eyes. I can assure you, when I finished reading them, I found out what I wasn’t. I was not that person in those letters. What a rude awakening! What happened to me, as time passed by? I had been consumed by my own self- interests, and different forms of materialism. I worked very hard at a lot of different things – but not for my marriage interests.

So it was, in these moments of compassion, I renewed myself to my marriage vow and instilled a compassionate view point for the future. I began to recognize the stumbling stones in my path. I moved each one as I moved forward; self-control; anger; hostility; conceit; selfishness; contempt; forgetfulness! As I moved each stone away, I found the needs of my wife under each one; friendship; warmth; affection; cooperation; security; togetherness; attention; gentleness; growth! As we go through life, the little things that meant a lot are forgotten. The larger things we do in life we think mean a lot – mean very little. The heart that is heartless, is unable to consume compassion; it is like a stone; unmovable! To change ones’ heart and direction, it has to find compassion. It is like a flower that buds, then blossoms. The flower is there; – for sweet smells and vivid colors it needs nourishment; compassion! The green grass of our lawn needs watering, fertilizer, and mowing. If we neglect it, weeds grow, the green turns to brown and the grass dies. So it is, with our heart and soul – it needs compassion – spiritual prognosis! It needs to grow in spiritual nourishment. We need to look inside ourselves with the eyes of another, to examine our inventory of priorities. What importance is my life to myself and to others? What can I give, or do, to give something of myself that has an impact? Am I an impact to anybody, or anything? What; am I doing here? We begin by pulling out the weeds that stifle our growth. We look to the Lord, for guidance and nourishment, for our heart and soul. Ask the Lord, and He will give it, to you. It is that simple! What is good for us, the Lord will fill us, with our needs. When we ask, and do not receive an answer; that in itself, is an answer. We, are not ready. He will answer us; it may take months or years. When He knows we are ready, He will answer. If we keep ourselves too busy and keep talking – we can’t listen. We quiet ourselves, pray in reverence, wait, and listen. He will hear us – change us and fill us with His compassion. His compassion will wilt all the weeds. The growth of the Holy Spirit will flourish a newness of direction.

We are here, but for a short period of time. Why do we waste so much of everything, in accomplishing nothing? We are only the custodians, for these to follow. For whom that follow us, should be reverent to what we give to them. Are we good examples? The marriage that has fallen away – can be renewed. The respect for each other – can grow. The brokenness of hearts – can be mended. Compassion; rules our destiny! Marriage the vow – the vow to renew – to recapture – to love again – to journey – to grow.

Forgotten love letters! The only thing about these letters that was old – was the stamp on the envelope. The words written; the voice of a younger voice; calling hearts together. In the quiet, I listened, and found compassion, to lift the words from each page, into my heart. These words grow and grow and compassionate into action. Thirty three years of marriage. We grow together. Burning embers, rekindled! Our journey, travels onward!

Robert J. Varrick

rjvarrick@gmail.com