The Holidays as a Catholic Widow Woman

Last December my only sibling passed away just shy of his 62nd birthday.  John and I had been born on the same day, 6 years apart, and for the first time in more than 60 years I celebrated alone.

Our parents had gone on ahead of us - Dad in 2003 and Mom in 2020.  While John had fathered three children and had one grandchild, my children never lived beyond the womb and so today I am one of those scary women our society fears.  I am a childless, widowed woman who lives alone with two dogs.

I am blessed in many ways.  I have a slew of cousins and dear friends everywhere.  I still have reasons to bake and decorate during the holidays and I get to offer my home as a landing spot to anyone who needs a safe and happy place to be if the festivities around them become too much.  I am not lonely.  I am alone and that is a wonderful distinction to be able to make today.

I also get to really and truly prepare during Advent in ways other people can't - I get to pray and meditate with a kind of abandon not often allowed to women and men with large families to shepherd through the season.  I get pause, reflect and truly ponder what my life is and what it could become in the next year.  How may I contribute to the world?  How may I help those I see and those I don't?  How may I make my prayer life deeper and more meaningful?  How may I become a saint?

Every day I look at the mistakes I made and try to figure out why I make them.  I can usually pinpoint my character defects pretty easily.  I am afraid I don't matter and so pride can cause me to do everything from exagerate a story to get attention to not speak up with I see an injustice happening right before my eyes. Occasionally, I can be open enough to God's Grace to stand for a principle even if it costs me a little or causes me some discomfort.  It is a rare day that I do not do something right, even if it to eat correctly or get the laundry done, but in reality my life is quiet and small.  It is a good life, it is a comfortable life, it is a safe life but it is quiet and it is small.

I am grateful to be a Catholic.  I am grateful because so many of our wonderful saints have led quiet and small lives.  They have taught me to try and purify my motives, to have my actions reflect the deepness of God's Mercy.  I have amazing role models. 

Today I hope that every Catholic woman living alone with her cats or dogs or her parrot, knows that she is valuable and she is loved.  I pray that every Catholic man who never found 'the one' knows that he matters in this world.  Let's decorate for the holidays, write our check for the local food bank, take our banana bread to the neighbors and smile.  Let's walk the dogs and teach the parrot to sing Bruce Springsteen songs.  Put out the Advent Wreath and light the candles each Sunday.  Say the prayers alone and remember when we did it with those who are no longer on earth with us. Remember that they are still praying for us - and maybe we need to pray for them.

Lets live our quiet and small lives with great love - and never forget that Jesus died for us too so that we too may live in hope of heaven.