THE TEARS OF ROSES-PART 1

THE TEARS OF ROSES - PART I 

I write here, concerning the heart of myself, in events just passed; it is regarding my spiritual journey encountering roses and threes, and continuously questioning their meaning. For what are these sprinkles of grace, and how does this relate to my calling? And it is here I ask, and let someone explain if you can: why, when I add the numbers in my birth date (day, month, year), they add up to 33; and when I add the numbers in my First Holy Communion date (day, month, year), they add up to 33; and when I add the numbers in my June marriage date (day, month, year), they add up to 33. June, is the month of the rose, and I was a member of St. Rose Parish when I made my First Holy Communion. Why is it, these “threes” and “roses” continually become part of my life? 

On October 3, 1998, in a television program I was watching, I learned that St. Therese, the Little Flower who is associated with “roses,” is the 33rd Doctor of the Church, the newest and youngest. 

It is here on August 28, 1998, at our prayer group meeting, my friend Edith has shown me a special rosary called “The Rosary of Our Lady's Tears,” and gave me a pamphlet to read, that explains the story of its existence. In Campinas, Brazil, at the Institute of the Missionaries of the Crucified Jesus, Sister Amalia of the Scourged Jesus, was given the prayers for this rosary by Jesus, in an apparition on Nov. 8, 1929. Subsequently, Our Lady appeared to her on March 8, 1930, to show Sister Amalia this rosary. Many conversions, granting of requests, healings, and innumerable graces have been obtained by praying this rosary. 

I immediately make a commitment to obtain one for myself, as Our Blessed Mother's tears have long wallpapered the lining of my soul. I have great compassion, for her tears of anguish and sorrow. Edith and I try several sources, calling, and writing across country. It is from Fatima, Portugal, Edith finally has obtained these rosaries, of which I purchased two for myself. She gave them to me at our prayer meeting on Feb. 12, 1999. It is on Feb. 18, I blessed these two Rosaries with Holy water from Lourdes, knelt down at my bed, and prayed, the Rosary of Our Lady's Tears, for the first time. It is here when I finished the rosary and closing prayer, and said amen: a strong “scent of roses” flourished in the air around me. 

It is on Feb. 24, I have placed the second rosary in my car ashtray, and at work in my car at lunch time prayed this rosary. When I finished, a very strong odor of “scent of roses” blossomed in my car. I prayed it again, and when I finished, a strong “scent of roses” flourished anew. Again on Feb. 25 in my car, before work, I pray this rosary; again a strong “scent of roses” flourishes within my car. On Feb. 26 at lunch at work in my car, I pray this rosary once more; and immediately after I finished, a very, very strong “aroma of roses” blossoms around me, and lasts about 5 minutes. I am now convinced, this is a gift, and a grace!!! When I said the first words of the opening prayer, “O crucified,” a huge gust of wind shook my car. It was not very windy this day, and I was startled by the force of the wind. One can only speculate this was the Holy Spirit. 

And on March 3, in my car after praying this rosary and caressing its metal, very, very strong bursts of fragrance are all about me; the strongest fragrance yet, fills my car for 5 minutes. This is so real!!! I am almost in ecstasy!!! And for numerous days to follow, again this strong “scent of roses” is present. And why is this gift so unique in my car? This 1988 Chev. Celebrity’s color, is ROSEWOOD! I can’t explain it, any further. I continue to pray the Rosary of Our Lady's Tears every day but this scent of roses has decreased in volume and fragrance. And it should be noted here, one of my writings dated August 24, 1998, is called “The Fragrant Beads.” This writing is about roses, fragrance, prayer, the rosary, tears, and Our Blessed Mother. With this thought in mind, makes this gift more extraordinary. 

Praying the Rosary of Our Lady's Tears has given me great peace, and reverence, in expressing my prayers of compassion, and filling these words and thoughts with great love, for Our Blessed Mother's tears; I have poured out what I feel. This is the vehicle, that has opened the tears of roses: the fragrance so sweet and strong, this “scent of roses,” so beautiful. You must think this is so wonderful, and it is, but with it, comes responsibility and courage on my journey. It has been difficult at times being a disciple for the Lord. I have found rejection, and disappointment, resentment, and even fear. Not everyone is open, and some are apprehensive to my approach. In my writings I shy away from the low points, but they are there, they are many; and this is not a diary. If you think this is easy, then I tell you, find your cross, and examine your conscience and heart. For one must do more than look at the cross. One must pick it up and carry it, using it to open the soul. One must be moved internally, to compassionate the tears shed on the Cross. One must comprehend, such a gift of Our Lord's Passion and Precious Drops of Blood, from Our Lord's Body, on the Cross. And one should be moved in the heart, for Our Blessed Mother's tears of anguish. 

One must move his cross, an inch at a time, just as our Lord did. Who is it, who can stand alone and need no one? For even Jesus on the Cross, called out in anguish to the Father. And also from the Cross, Jesus gave a command to John, “Behold thy mother.” For here is the Lord's concern of compassion for His Mother: to love her, and to comfort her sorrow. Every day in my own prayers and thoughts, I offer up my cloak of compassion: my own heart of tears, my works, and all of myself, to our Blessed Mother. It is noted here, my middle name, is “John.” So I tell you, the tears of roses were born in me long ago; this overwhelming compassion lay dormant, unnourished. My journey has been long, but when I took up my cross and placed it in my heart, my heart melted in tears; these tears watered the roses, within. 

For over a year I have discerned very carefully about this “scent of roses.” I now believe, with no doubt, this spiritual presence is from Our Blessed Mother. I have opened up my heart and soul and have accepted this gift as a genuine divine presence. I am in great thanksgiving for this gift, and will always, cherish this beautiful fragrance. I know this gift cannot be with me all the time, but when it touches me, I know I have been touched by heaven. 

Many years have passed since then, and I no longer receive this “scent of roses“.

“My Blessed Mother, I will be thy servant; use me as you may, for I heard thy call, and I answered it. Though it was not of the voice, but the sorrow and tears that have fallen on me, filling my heart and soul, with your compassionate image: holding your crucified Son, in your arms.” 

All I have written here, of my heart and soul, all events, all phenomena--all, is in truth, in the name of Jesus Christ, Our Lord. Amen.

Robert J. Varrick

rjvarrick@gmail.com