Let's Start Calling People by Their Names

One of the more bizarre aspects of our society, is how we hear the word “ex” thrown around all over the place when people talk about members of the opposite sex who used to be in their lives. As Catholics, we need to be very careful about doing this, because calling someone an “ex” de-personalizes people, and as Catholics we are not to de-personalize people.

In my opinion, people should never refer to a former girlfriend/boyfriend, or even a former fiance as an “ex.” And there are a number of reasons for this.

First, the word “ex” is extremely ambiguous and using it could create the appearance of scandal to some people. From my understanding, it used to be that people would only refer to someone that they had actually been married to as an “ex.” Not someone they had been on dates with, or even someone that they had been engaged to for a time. There are plenty of people out there, who hear the word “ex”, like “my ex,” or “her ex,” and assume that this person used to be married. And that can cause scandal and confusion in Catholic circles.

Another aspect, is that using the word “ex,” can cause people to assume that there was much more to a previous relationship, than what there actually was. It makes it sound like you were married to someone, or very close to it. There is absolutely no need to call someone an “ex” if you went out on a couple dates with someone, or if referring to someone you were seeing back in high school.

And, to be honest, it just sounds ugly. Calling someone an “ex,” sounds like you’re referring to an object, not someone made in the image and likeness of God. Why not refer to people of the opposite sex that come and go in life by their proper names, instead of making it sound like you got bit by a mosquito. It might be more charitable to refer to them by very specific terms, (that leave other people with very little to speculate about), like “my former girlfriend, “my former fiance,” or even “someone that I went on a couple of dates with,”

 
Why are people purposely vague about this?