This is My confession

     Let it be known that I am a sinner, seeking to reconcile with God for my sins of Pride, vanity, unforgiveness, and judging. I ask for God's forgiveness. Even though I say I forgive I still hold the hurt. I am prideful in thinking I should be treated with fairness from a world that is not ready to forgive. My vanity, sometimes it's overwhelming, to my heart when I look into a mirror and see an old woman who wants used to be on and vibrant. I judge and tell myself my convictions are correct, even though I know God is the Eternal judge and don't leave that hierarchy up to Him

     I am a sinner. I pray constantly to Him who is my creator, and Mary, who is so full of graces, and when relief is not instant, I rely on my own capabilities to make myself better. I do not always surrender without a fight but cling to the very things I detest in others. 

     I I know I will never be perfect. And I accept that. This is what helps me strive to continue to keep trying. Perfect in God's eyes is what I seek, and to keep trying to gain my crown in Heaven. My stubbornness stunts me. I'm like a spoiled child insisting that I want my way and I want it now. I am not patient. I cling to my hurts. My haste harms me and has since I was young. Making decisions that have hurt me and people around me. In the blink of an eye, my mouth can shoot gossip like bullets from a revolver. This is My confession. 

     In my arrogance, I parade my faith, having to come to the conclusion often that it was the sound of my own voice that I gloated on. My prayers are often dry and said just so I can feel I got them in on time. 

     I thank God, He is not taking me yet, so I may atone here on Earth before I die and see Him face to face. Before the humiliating experience of Him showing me how many times I have disgraced Him by not allowing Him to lead me. Not allowing myself to hear His voice because I'm talking over Him.

     The hurt I have caused myself is unmeasurable and I ask again and again and again for forgiveness. The numerous times of confession, saying the same sins constantly. Not understanding how my God can stand me coming before Him again and again for the millionth time, begging for that forgiveness when I cannot forgive myself. 

     Oh! How good this Father in heaven is! How merciful and wonderful and marvelous is His love and mercy! I find myself counting on it. 

     Asking once again, to pick me up and show me the way. And He always does. Knowing all along that He sent His beloved Son to be born so humbly and in poverty, knowing He was rejected and that His words were not heeded by the multitudes. Knowing He suffered real human pains and sorrow and became like us in all things but sin. Still the sin prevails. God have mercy on my soul. 

     Oh! Take this worthless creature you have created oh God, and do not abandon me. I detest all that is not of You in myself. I asked once again with a humble and contrite heart, forgiveness. Don't ever leave me. I need you. I desire you. Make my soul spotless before you and help me in my urgent need. 

     This is My confession.