Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother: Reflections on the Readings for the Feast of the Holy Family

The Sunday following Christmas is the Feast of the Holy Family. The family is the basic unit of society. From the family flows all the developments, growth, interactions, even rules and regulations, that contribute to a robust and healthy society. As we see in our own nation, breakdown of the family has disastrous effects.

“The family is the single most important institution on earth. All the happiest, most peaceful, and most enduring societies in history have had a deep respect for the family. It is the first place where we learn life’s most important lesson: unselfish love, the love that consists in the gift of your very self and life to others.” Dr. Peter Kreeft, Food for the Soul, Cycle C. The Catechism of the Catholic Church calls the Christian family a “domestic church” and describes it as a “community of faith, hope, and charity (2204) and “a communion of persons, a sign and image of the communion of the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit” (2205)

The family was established by God. We see this in the Holy Trinity, which in many ways acts as a family, and we see this in the Holy Family, which sets an example for the world. The readings for this feast bear this out.

The first line in the reading from the Book of Sirach affirms the family as part of God’s plan: “God sets a father in honor over his children.” The next line speaks to the mother’s authority over the children, completing the family unit. The importance of the parents and their role is woven throughout this reading. We regularly see the statistics of poor parenting, especially in homes without a father, and how detrimental they are to a flourishing society. And yet there are forces in the political world that regularly propose actions and policies that lead to the breakdown of the family.

It is interesting to note that the Fourth Commandment, the first commandment after those declaring the primacy of God, states, “Honor your father and your mother, that you may have a long life in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” The position of this commandment implies the primacy of the family in God’s eyes.

Sirach continues with the riches one stores up by the honor and reverence one gives to parents, including atonement for sins, long life, the joy of children and, “when he prays, is heard.” Prayer, often first learned within the context of the family, is the foundation of our spiritual lives, and we all want to be heard when we pray.

Additionally, God wants to remind us that even the old are important for our spiritual well-being: “take care of your father when he is old ... Even if his mind fail.” Another plus mark on the tote board of our lives.

The alternate first reading from the book of Samuel, tells how Samuel’s mother, Hannah, had asked God for a child and was rewarded for her faith with the son she named Samuel. Once the child was weaned, she took him to Eli, the priest, and dedicated Samuel to the Lord.

The Ignatius Study Bible notes that in some ways Hannah is looked at as a prefigurement of Mary, Our Blessed Mother. As Hannah dedicates the life of her son to the Lord, so Mary recognizes the dedication her Son has to God on high. Additionally, the song Hannah sings at the beginning of 1 Samuel 2, which has a striking similarity to the Canticle of Mary known as the Magnificat found in Luke 1:46-55.

The responsorial (Psalm 128) again reminds us of being obedient to the Lord. By following in His ways, we will be blessed. And those blessings also extend to our homes and families. “Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the recesses of your home; your children like olive plants around your table.”

This entails “fear of the Lord.”  This is reverent fear, not like the fear of one bent on destruction (such as Satan). It involves awe in the greatness of God as well as the fear one has of offending one deserving of all of our love. And, if we “fear the Lord and walk in his ways” we shall be rewarded with prosperity, not necessarily earthly prosperity, but spiritual prosperity.

The alternate responsorial (Psalm 84) talks about the dwelling place of the Lord: “How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts!” Those who dwell in His house are happy and blessed. Our hearts and souls yearn for God and His house. This is what we would expect of a good family home.

Both options for the second reading talk of family matters. The reading from Colossians talks about unselfish love; one of the characteristics of the family that Dr. Kreeft pointed out above. God has set the example of compassionate, humble, and patient love which we are also to follow. St. Paul reminds us that we are all part of the one body of the Lord. The family is also like the body of the Lord, with the father as the head, the first servant of the family, and the wife and children as bodily members. Some have difficulty with this part of Paul’s letter (and many homilists will avoid it) but it should be taken in the context of Christ as the head who gave himself for the Church (the body). Similarly, the father is the head and gives himself for the family, who dutifully follow his example.

The first letter of St. John also talks about being the family of God, His children. We need to keep His commandments so that we may be united with Him and see Him as He is. “And his commandment is this: we should believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another just as he commanded us.” In this way we shall be united with Him in the Spirit.

The gospel passage from Luke retells the story of the finding of Jesus in the temple (the fifth Joyful mystery of the Rosary). It shows the familial love of Mary and Joseph in their search for the missing Child. It seems, at first, that Jesus is being disobedient to His parents, while at the same time preparing for the mission His heavenly Father has sent Him on. “His Father’s business at the end of the three days in the temple was no different from His Father’s business at the end of three days in the grave. Like all other incidents in His infancy, this one bore witness to the Mission of the Cross. All men are born to live; He was born to do the Father’s business, which was to die, and thereby to save.” (Sheen, Life of Christ)

Bishop Sheen describes the effect this incident had on Jesus’s mother: “In those three days, Mary came to know one of the effects of sin, namely the loss of God. Though she was without sin, nevertheless she knew the fears and the loneliness, the darkness and the isolation which every sinner experiences when he loses God.” (Life of Christ)

Ultimately, though, Jesus follows the commandment to honor His parents. “He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart.”

So, throughout these readings we see the importance of the family both in God’s eyes and as a foundation of society. We also see the various roles each member takes on. And as is consistent with the many lessons throughout Scripture we see the importance of obedience, both to God, His Word, and to our earthly family.