Understanding our Faith, and the Domestic Church!

How do I “understand” this Catholic faith more? Great question. We understand more as we perceive the intended meaning of what living the faith truly entails. Not too many Catholics as unfortunate as that may sound, “understand” the Catholic faith. It’s rather sad really. So many folks of all ages come weekly to Mass, some not even that much, and most sadly are really only attending out of a habit. I’ve heard this I don’t know how many times; I’m here cuz my folks made me do it so now I make my kid do it; or I don’t know I just come. And the list continues. I think I’ve heard about everything really; but this to me demonstrates ever so clearly the lack of understanding of so many. You want to know a really sad thing; I was that way. I was a proud card-carrying member of the C&E’s club! That’s the club card for the crowd that only attends Mass at Christmas and Easter! Had to attend on Christmas and Easter. Don’t know why, but I did. And, guilty as charged with making the kids do it; or lack of reverence? Guilty as charged! And of course, I did not have a clue, really let me say that again, I did not have a clue of what was happening right in front of me. The major difference for me and the other C&E’s is that eventually I did begin to understand what I was doing at Mass! That was a great feeling to begin that journey of faith; a journey with understanding.

We need time to “explore” this faith we say as we profess to be true! How many people have actually opened their Catechism of the Catholic Church and read a topic? Better yet, what the heck are those numbers on the side that just keep bouncing all over the place? Why do we need a Catechism? Come to think about it; what does Catechism even mean? OR, Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy? Does anyone recall what these are? Have we opened the Bible up and read a chapter? Not the whole book, but at least a chapter? What’s an apostolate? What’s Canon Law? Whose subject to Canon Law? Who is the Catechist of your Diocese? I’ll give you a hint on that one, he wears a miter and carries a crozier at Mass and he should always be referred to as Your Excellency. Exploring the faith allows us to (wait for it, you’re gonna get mad at me with this one) understand the faith! 

Our Catholic faith has such a rich and vibrant history, a history that goes directly back to the Apostles themselves! And to be fair it has had some knuckleheads in that history; even today. BUT the Church herself, she is Holy. Christ stated “And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it” (Matt 16:18)…“teach them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.” (Matt 20:28) That’s pretty darn reassuring for me. Knowing that Jesus, the Son of God, established this, His, Church. Do I have faith? Can I live this faith?

In order for me to live MY Catholic faith and honestly to love every minute of it, I need to explore it; I need to pray about it, and then I need to understand what I have in front of me, which is Christ Himself! Faith is as the apostle Paul states “faith comes from what is heard, and what is heard comes through the word of Christ.” (Rom 10:17) Beautiful line isn’t it? We need to “hear.” What happens when we carefully listen? We begin to explore what is being presented to us; then, as Catholics we begin to pray what we are exploring. Then, then we begin to understand!

The proper thing, then, is not merely to be styled Christians, but also to be such--St. Ignatius of Antioch

Families have so much going for them and at the same time going against them. Society, meaning our friends, family, our neighborhoods, our elected officials, and our Church all play a pivotal part on the family. Our Church teaches us that the foundation for becoming an active member of the Catholic faith and of course becoming productive members of society the foundation must begin at home first. The foundation, the root, the corner stone, whatever you want to call it, it must begin at home! This is extremely important for all of us to understand, so I want to stress this point again, living our faith, as Catholics, must begin at home first! Why? Parents have a pivotal role with the rearing of their children, especially when it appears that society isn’t thinking the same way we, as “practicing” Catholics are thinking when it comes to prudence and upbringing our children with Catholic values and morals. This reality of the faith begins at home first and this is why the family is referred to as the “Domestic Church.” The Catechism of the Catholic Church states in paragraph 1656 that;

In our own time, in a world often alien and even hostile to faith, believing families are of primary importance as centers of living, radiant faith. For this reason the Second Vatican Council, using an ancient expression, calls the family the Ecclesia domestica. It is in the bosom of the family that parents are “by word and example . . . the first heralds of the faith with regard to their children. They should encourage them in the vocation which is proper to each child, fostering with special care any religious vocation.

Now the following shouldn’t be a huge surprise to anyone of faith who lives in the Western Hemisphere. Society, in general, although is supposedly tolerant of “faith” really isn’t too keen on having people of “faith” lead the countries. There’s this whole separation of Church and State thing. Some ideas or ideals that were considered as wrong are now good; and what was once good is now considered as wrong? Kinda crazy but that’s our reality in the 21st century. It appears to me and so many others that our youth are at a higher risk of being tempted or lured out of the faith than us who happened to be in their fifth decade or higher. But let’s be honest, it’s not just the youth; parents are at risk as well. Parents need to be that “front line” of defense of the Catholic faith and morality for their children. Parents need to have a sense of responsibility to not only teach their children the faith they profess (which by the way literally means they need to continually learn this faith they profess) this also means that parents need to LIVE their faith they profess, not just on Sunday’s but EVERY day! Make no mistake, this can be a very daunting task. But both of you are responsible for the other with the commitment to do all that you can to lead/guide/assist your spouse to heaven. And, oddly enough due to that reason of leading/guiding/assisting you both are the primary examples for your children! You are what your children will look for in their partner when they are married OR if they will discern a calling towards the priesthood or religious life. You, parents, as husband and wife, set this tone (if you will) for your children. Like it or not, it’s the truth and it is such a wonderful responsibility.

The Second Vatican Council’s Constitution on the Church in the Modern World expresses “high esteem” for marriage and family life, and speaks of the “lofty calling” of spouses and parents. The title of one of the constitution’s sections refers to “the nobility of marriage and the family,” a nobility to be fostered. Marriage, the constitution says, is a “vocation.” This way of speaking and thinking about marriage and the family has grown familiar in today’s church. In times when the vocation of every member of the body of Christ is taken seriously, the vocation of marriage and of the family is esteemed. The council esteemed conjugal love as a sign to others of Christ’s own love for the church. And today it is not uncommon for church leaders to insist that the entire church benefits from the love within committed marriages and that a doubtful society needs to witness the possibility of such love.

In their 2009 the USCCB in their national pastoral letter titled “Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan,” the U.S. Catholic bishops had this to say about marriage as a vocation: “The church teaches that marriage is an authentic vocation or divine call. As a vocation, marriage is just as necessary and valuable to the church as other vocations.” The bishops explain to us all that “the call to love reaches beyond the home to the extended family, the neighborhood and the larger community.” The bishops continued with  “this marital and familial love finds its complete expression, following the example of Jesus himself, in a willingness to sacrifice oneself in everyday situations for one’s spouse and children.” Over time, the constitution teaches, the love of a husband and wife ought to “grow and ripen.”

Again, the U.S. Catholic bishops are speaking or better yet, they are reinforcing if you will the language of Vatican II when, in their national pastoral letter on marriage, they describe themselves as “troubled by the fact that far too many people do not understand what it means to say that marriage — both as a natural institution and a Christian sacrament — is a blessing and gift from God.” The Constitution on the Church in the Modern World teaches that “authentic married love is caught up into divine love and is governed and enriched by Christ’s redeeming power and the saving activity of the church.” This love will aid and strengthen spouses in their roles as parents. By virtue of the sacrament of marriage, the constitution states, “as spouses fulfill their conjugal and family obligations, they are penetrated with the spirit of Christ. This spirit suffuses their whole lives with faith, hope and charity.”

Here is the problem for many “Catholic” parents today that are not taking this responsibility seriously and I dare say this is due to a lack of understanding from so many parents! From my perspective and what I have witnessed firsthand in various department or grocery stores is way too many parents refuse to be parents. Yep, I said it! It’s the televisions job, or it’s the schools job, it’s everybody’s responsibility EXCEPT for me, the parent! Or, worse yet, they are trying to relive their childhood through their children with all the things that they didn’t or couldn’t do. The absolute frightening part is when parents simply want to be “friends” with their children and allow their children to make up their own minds about school, responsibilities, morality, faith and God. I’ve heard the following countless of times faith is a personal experience, I want them to figure it out. Rubbish! (I would have said something else, but my wife Amy would slap me silly) If you are Catholic and you profess this faith to be true, then you are expected to live a certain way. Let me state that one more time…it’s EXPECTED that you will live YOUR life as a Catholic. Meaning, you are to live your life in accordance to the teachings of the Church and of course the teachings of Christ. To say otherwise is not living your Catholic faith. We should not be so worried of what others think of us because we want to instill morality, we want to instill ethical behavior, we want to instill the Catholic faith within our children and grandchildren. Yet, so many parents and I dare say couples just starting their martial life together seem determined to consider society wants or expectations first and foremost over what the Church wants and expects. Seems appropriate to me to highlight what St. pope John Paul II wrote in his Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio (1981) “At a moment of history in which the family is the object of numerous forces that seek to destroy it or in some way to deform it, and aware that the well-being of society and her own good are intimately tied to the good of the family, the Church perceives in a more urgent and compelling way her mission of proclaiming to all people the plan of God for marriage and the family, ensuring their full vitality and human and Christian development, and thus contributing to the renewal of society and of the People of God.” How true is that? Today, the family is under attack and so many parents, couples, are simply to borrow from the Steve Miller band “blinded by the light” of society, not the Light of Christ!

Once more leaning on St. pope John Paul II’s Familiaris Consortio this great saint of ours states: “All members of the family, each according to his or her own gift, have the grace and responsibility of building, day by day, the communion of persons, making the family ‘a school of deeper humanity:’ this happens where there is care and love for the little ones, the sick, the aged; where there is mutual service every day; when there is a sharing of goods, of joys and of sorrows.” We all, I think, understand that there will be struggles, however each of us in our own position if you will within the domestic church have a fundamental role and duty to other.

What is the mission? The mission is rearing our children in the faith. How do we do this? This always begins with and through solid and faithful catechesis. What is catechesis? Catechesis is teaching. We are to teach our children the faith! We, as parents, have to teach them even before they can fully comprehend and understand the faith! Part of that teaching is being a witness of and for Christ in everything we do. Especially when we think no one is looking.

Prayer is always, and I do mean always the foundation. Prayer, active prayer, by the individual and the family brings the family together. Again this is best learned by the example of the parents. This could be as simple as a family rosary every Sunday. Or, a paragraph, NOT THE WHOLE BIBLE, a paragraph of the Bible each night and discuss the reading as a family. Asking the children as they grow with their own experience with the reading as they understand it as well as their interactions at school or with friends. Or, as a family try reading the upcoming readings for Mass and discussing these readings a couple of days before Mass and then discussing after Mass what the priest or deacon preached on.

Let’s not forget that folks also struggle with the faith, and I am no exception with that. Which is ok. There are topics in our faith that people simply become confused on. This is partly due to poor catechesis from the clergy and their lack of example, and the other part is people are simply lazy to research the topics they are having a hard time with or communicating these issues with their spouse. Yes they go to Mass, they still profess to be Catholic but for whatever reason certain topics they simply disagree with and refuse to have any discussion. Or, they have a “one way” discussion about the topic and of course, they are right and refuse any type of instruction or discussion on the matter at hand. There are topics or teachings in the Church that I struggled with; however, I take the responsibility to say I need to learn this. Why does the Church teach this? What benefit is it to me with this teaching? How can I explain this to my family? Personally, I don’t recommend blogs for catechesis. For the most part, these are personal understandings and preferences. Some are good, some are great, and some are simply a train wreck. Yet they are all Catholic. So where should I go? I always recommend to folks to go directly to the source, the Church documents. Or go to your priest and ask for assistance, or your deacon and ask for assistance or I dare say write your Bishop as he is the Catechist for his diocese. (disclaimer, I don’t think you will get a letter back from your bishop directly, but more than likely you will receive something from the diocese answering your question) Then once you have the answer, learn how to catechize your family by simply talking with them and asking what issues with the teachings of the Church they might be having difficulty with or struggling with right now. If you don’t know the answer, guess what? That’s ok! But find the answer and teach them. This is something I wish I would have done with our children.

I simply love the following paragraph from the Catechism. Paragraph 2204 states that “the family is the original cell of social life. It is the natural society in which husband and wife are called to give themselves in love and in the gift of life. Authority, stability, and a life of relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security, and fraternity within society. The family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honor God, and make good use of freedom. Family life is an initiation into life in society.”

Fathers! You are the head of the domestic church. It is your responsibility to ensure that you are learning and more importantly LIVING your faith daily. What this entails is rather simple. If you have a catechism, now would be a great time to open it. It is not designed to be read front to back; rather it is broken into sections. Spend some time in the Bible. Spend time in prayer. Spending time in prayer for your family, and for yourself. It is also your responsibility to demonstrate to your children how a man interacts with a woman. I cannot stress this enough. YOU show them how to treat a woman. Not the television, not the movies, not their friends…you get it? You are not alone! You have your spouse to assist you. Consider any “organization” that you belong too. You have to understand that organization in order to be a productive member correct? If you don’t spend time learning and developing your role in this organization how are you going to be an active and productive member? You cannot. Here, in the domestic church as the husband and father of your children YOU by your actions show them (your children) what this life is truly about, YOU need to teach your children, YOU need to lead the family in prayer daily. It may appear as a daunting task at times, but it’s not. It is a wonderful gift, privilege and honor to be a husband and father, don’t allow society to rob you of this.

Mothers! Can you think of any other relationship more profound than that of a mother and her child? So, you’re not off the hook so to speak. You share in this responsibility of molding or developing your children. You really are the front line so to speak. You are also called to remind your husband of his duty, his obligation as the father of the household. Learning this faith with him, spending time in prayer with him and for him. When you are both tired, and simply want to take a night off from prayer, YOU must ensure that you both don’t. Although the father is the proverbial “head” of the domestic church, it simply cannot function effectively without the “heart.” YOU never walk behind or in front of your husband rather you walk side by side. As a loving spouse, as a loving mother to your children, you must first and foremost love God the most. That example will last a lifetime for you, your husband, and your children. Your children will learn much from you as you show them, through your very actions of prayer, sacrifice, and love what it means to authentically know and love Jesus.

As parents, we have an awesome responsibility to lead our children and help them get to heaven to live in all eternity with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Perfect harmony, perfect happiness, perfect joy. Sounds awesome doesn’t it?! It is by our “living the faith” and clearly demonstrating to our children what it means to be Catholic our children will flourish and society will undoubtably improve.

The family is fundamental because that is where the first awareness of the meaning of life germinates in the human soul. It germinates in the relationship with the mother and the father, who are not masters of their children’s lives but are God’s primary collaborators in the transmission of life and faith.--Pope Benedict XVI (October 2010)

God Bless